Page 37 of Centering Kaos

I thought about it for a beat. “Because karma is real and growing up isn’t easy. You go through a lot of shit and it either breaks you or makes you tough and wise. You’ll be an adult someday, and after struggling through life to get there, you won’t appreciate some punk-ass little kid calling you stupid.”

Frowning, he looked down at his feet. “Yeah, but I’m not gonna say stupid shit when I’m a grown up.”

I chuckled at his candor. “Okay, I’m gonna need an example. What did Mr. White say that has you all up in arms?”

“He made us run, and I was tired, so I started walking instead. He told me not to quit. He said I had to take quit and put it in my pocket.” Dylan’s face scrunched up with disgust as he gestured wildly. “I was wearing gym shorts. They don’t even have pockets.”

I could practically see the scene between Dylan and his teacher playing out in my head, and it was all I could do to keep from laughing. Most of the PE teachers I’d met were wannabe coaches who listened to too many motivational speakers and took themselves too seriously. “I take it you told him as much.”

Dylan nodded. “And he sent a pink note home and I got in trouble.Hesaid something stupid, andIcouldn’t play video games for a week. It wasn’t fair.”

The kid had a point.

We’d reached the door, but I stopped and turned to face him. “I’m gonna tell you something I wish someone would have told me when I was your age.”

“Is it that life isn’t fair?” he asked, his eyes full of barely suppressed pain. “Because my parents are getting a divorce, so I already know that.”

Damn. That hit hard. Wishing I could take some of that hurt away from him, I shook my head. “No. I was going to tell you you’re right, but it doesn’t matter. Not one bit. The world doesn’t care if you’re right; they just want you to follow the rules. Society likes robots who do what they’re told, but you’re a free thinker. So, you need to be okay with knowing you’re right in your heart, while pretending to play by their rules. Then life will be easier for you.”

He stared at me, his forehead scrunching up. “What do you mean?”

“Well, life’s a lot like hockey,” I said, leaning against the building. “If you put a bunch of guys on the ice with sticks and told them to score points, it would be chaos. You’d get the same result if you set kids loose without guidelines and let them do their own thing. Rules were created to keep everything civil. On the ice, refs make sure everyone follows the rules. In life, the people enforcing the rules change based on where you are and what you’re doing. As a kid, your parents, teachers, and other adults keep you in line and punish you when you step out. They’re like the refs in your life.”

He folded his arms across his chest. “But sometimes they’re wrong.”

I chuckled. “They sure are. You think refs are always right? They’re not. They make bad calls. Like everyone else, they’re only human. The majority are good people who do their best to make fair calls and not show favoritism to one team or another. Don’t get me wrong, there are some dirty assholes in the bunch, but for the most part, they’re just trying to do their job. Adults are no different.”

He stared at me thoughtfully.

“But… here’s where it gets tricky. Say you’re out on the ice and a ref makes a bad call. What do you think will happen if you call him stupid?”

“I don’t know.”

“He’ll boot your ass out of the game. You gotta be strong enough to know you’re right, and smart enough to keep your mouth shut about it.”

“If a ref makes a bad call, someone should tell him.”

I nodded. “Sure, but it won’t matter. The only way a ref’s gonna change his mind, is if he sees something on the instant replay. Average, ordinary people don’t have that option. Besides, what difference do you think it’ll make? Your teacher wasn’t trying to be stupid. He was trying to inspire you to be better. You can’t fight everything you don’t agree with, Dylan. You do that, you’ll become the problem. Trust me, you don’t want to be that guy.”

He stared at me. I got the feeling he wanted to argue, but he held his tongue and mulled over my words. Hell, I could practically see the wheels spinning in his head. Little by little, I was getting through to the kid. Knowing my words had an impact felt like a fucking bear hug straight to my heart. Shaking off the warmth before it got uncomfortable, I swung open the door.

“Come on. Let’s get you into a pair of skates and see how you do on the ice.”

As anticipated, it took a little time for Dylan to get his feet under him, but once he managed to find his balance, he was a fearless little terror. I watched him go full-bore into the boards, bounce off, and then do it again without a moment of hesitation. We did nothing but skate that first day, and by the end of it, he was dragging ass and still begging me to stay longer.

“You have to be hungry,” I said. Hell, I was starving, and I hadn’t worked half as hard as the kid. “Let’s pick up something to eat and head home.”

“Fine.” His shoulders slumped. “But we didn’t even play any hockey.”

“We will,” I assured him.

“Tomorrow?”

I laughed. “You’re gonna be sore tomorrow. We’ll probably have to give it a little while. I’ll reach out to my buddy and see when the ice is open next. Maybe we can get you into some classes. In the meantime, I’m gonna order a couple of books. I want you to read over the rules of the game and learn the language. Can’t have you making me look bad in front of the other kids.”

“I’m gonna have to read? And learn new words?”

“I think you’ll live.” I led him to the bench where we removed our skates. “Your mom said your grades have been slipping, but you’re probably the smartest third grader I’ve ever met. What’s goin’ on with that?” I asked.

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