Page 28 of Still Burning

I’d gone over what I was going to say so many times that I had it memorized.

“Nixie is young and scared. She has no one to go with her to see the ultrasound today. That’s not right. And one day, you will regret not going.”

He was already shaking his head. “No. I’m not taking her to the ultrasound,” he said, then turned and headed toward the closet.

“No woman should have to do that alone. And you will love this baby. Right now, when it’s not here, you don’t realize it, but when you hold it, you’re gonna love it, and you will regret missing something this important. Seeing him or her for the first time on that screen. I don’t want you to have regrets about your child. I want you to go.”

He stopped and looked back at me. “How do you even know about this? Did Nixie tell you? Did she come here to this room?” he asked angrily.

“She’s pregnant, Rome, and it’s your child,” I said sternly. “Yes, she came to this room and told me about it. I don’t blame her. This is hard for her too. She is having a baby with a man who is in love with another woman. Just go with her. Be there to see the ultrasound. Please,” I begged, starting to feel like I might not gethim to go after all.

He ran a hand through his hair and muttered a curse. “I don’t like how it looks. I’m not gonna go to appointments with her. I don’t want her thinking this baby means I’m at her disposal. I’m not,” he spit out.

“She’s not asking that you take her to appointments. She is just nervous about the ultrasound. She doesn’t want to be there alone. Go see your child. I’ll be right here, waiting, when you get back.”

He stared at me as if I were asking him to throw his motorcycle off a cliff. “You’re telling me that you don’t care that I’m taking another woman somewhere? To go see an ultrasound of a kid we accidentally created?”

I cared. I cared so deeply that I wasn’t sure how I would breathe for the next few hours. But that was me being selfish and jealous. There was no room for that here.

“I care if you don’t,” I told him. “I don’t want you to miss this.”

We stood there for several moments in silence. His eyes never leaving mine. I knew he was battling with it in his head, and I had to remain firm. Not show him the torment I was dealing with. The memory of a child he had once created with me and knew nothing about. Except the ultrasound I’d had was of an empty womb where our child had been.

“For you. I will go for you,” he said finally and closed the space between us. “But I want this with you. I want us to make a family when we’re ready.”

I didn’t speak. If I tried, I feared I’d crumple to the ground. I just nodded.

All the flaws he didn’t see were the ones that hurt me the most.

11

Salem

Nina and Goldie meant well, and they cared about me. In the time I’d been held up in the MC compound, I’d not only gotten the man that I’d always loved back, but I had made real friends. It was ironic that one of the most terrifying moments in my life—being held at gunpoint—had been the cause of my being here. It had given me so much. Even if, now, my heart felt like it couldn’t take much more.

That being said, Nina and Goldie hovering over me, giving each other worried glances, and doing their best to be lighthearted to get my mind off of where Rome was right now had gotten weary. I’d decided I needed a walk outside to breathe. I’d only been in the backyard, but never walked around the entire gated-off area that surrounded the place.

Many of the bikes were gone, and I knew that the majority of the guys were working at one of their strip clubs. Micah and Dolly had stopped by earlier, but they’d left a couple of hours ago. I had waved goodbye to Nina as she drove down the road toward the exit. She had said earlier she was going to Strokes—the club her husband, Jars, managed—to take him dinner and help with some ordering for the bar.

I stopped by the small pond that had lovely flower gardens, which would be surprising, except Goldie had explained all the landscaping had been done by Liam’s wife. She’d stayed herefor a couple of weeks while pregnant and started the project, then come back later after the baby was born to finish it. Liam brought her to visit, and she’d spend time on the flowers and plants while here. I hadn’t gotten the chance to meet her yet, but if Goldie and Nina liked her, I was sure I would too.

Forcing myself to inhale deeply and let it out slowly in hopes of lightening the weight sitting on my chest, I stood there and stared out at the water. Nothing helped. I’d done the right thing. That should make me feel better, but I didn’t think anything could really.

“Want to go for a ride?”

I turned at the sound of Lick’s voice to see him walking toward me. He was dressed in jeans, a black T-shirt that saidToxicon it, and his cut. I’d not seen much of him lately. He’d been my first friend here other than Pepper.

“Looks like you’re heading to Toxic Throttle for the night. I don’t think I’m up for more strippers,” I said, trying to smile.

His solemn expression didn’t mask the glint of distaste in his eyes. I wasn’t sure what that was for—me or the strippers.

“I can change my plans. There’re enough men at Toxic tonight.”

As nice as that was, I knew Rome would lose his mind if I left on the back of Lick’s bike. Lick knew it, too, but he didn’t care.

“It’s best I stay here,” I replied, not explaining why. He didn’t need me to spell it out for him.

Lick’s black combat boots crunched in the grass until he came to a stop beside me. “Yeah, well, the way I see it is, he’s with his baby momma at the doctor while you’re left here alone to just take it. Don’t seem right to me.”

---