My wracking sobs slowly ease, and reality filters back in.
Vito came in through the secret passageway. He's here… seeing me like this.
I feel stronger about facing my past; however, dread pools as I realize I have to face my reality.
Vito witnessed my undoing.
He knew I needed him, and he broke our rules to risk coming into the office. With a bar full of people, including all the Chamber leaders. This is too dangerous.
He can't stay. He needs to go.
But I can't make myself let him go or tell him to leave.
His arms tighten around me, telling me he's not going anywhere. Not yet.
"Talk to me, Eden."
Visions of what I lived through assault me again. I must physically react because he tightens his hold on me, and his breathing sounds pained.
"I can't."
He kisses my head. "Why?"
"Because…" I squeeze my eyes shut, feeling two tears leak down my cheeks. "Because then I can't ignore it. Because then it will be real."
"It is real. Right now. In this moment. Nothing is more real than this, baby."
Maybe it's because his deep voice sounds pained, because I'm in pain. Or maybe it's because he called me 'baby'. But for the first time, I want, Ineed, to tell someone—to at leasttryto face what was done to me and what was taken from me.
But I don't know how—either to say the words or where to start.
"Sophie's pregnant," I say in a rush, my breathing labored.
"She and Creed just told us last night." I can hear the confusion in his voice. Then he sucks in a small breath. "Do you… Do you want a baby, Eden?"
The tears burn my eyes and coat my cheeks as I whisper, "I had one."
Vito goes entirely still but continues to hold me tightly to him.
"When I was fifteen… I had a baby growing inside me… I was pregnant… My baby… My parents forced…"
I've never said these words out loud, but suddenly, it's like they're toxic inside me, poisoning me. And maybe they have been all these years.
I need to purge them.
"I was pregnant." A sob bursts free. "They forced me. They helped the people restrain me. My father was one of the men who held me down. My mother did up the straps."
I can't stop. I bare my soul, spewing every heinous detail of what they did to me. About how I almost died, and afterward, running as soon as I could.
"Fucking hell, Eden." Vito sounds tortured. His body folds around me, cocooning me and holding me in a fierce hold. His heart hammers against my cheek.
Now that I've started telling him, I can't stop. I tell him about the cult and Fenton. About Aiken finding out and disowning our parents. About him finding me, but how I pushed him away. About my regret and shame for being so weak and stubborn.
About never being able to bear children.
I collapse in Vito's arms after all the toxic past events are free. He holds me close and runs his fingers through my hair as my shaking finally abates. "That first night we had sex, you said you couldn't get pregnant… I thought you meant because you were on a contraceptive."
I shake my head and release a shaky breath. I feel steadier but not ready to look at him. "There was too much uterine scarring. Even if I did somehow miraculously get pregnant, I'd miscarry."