Page 4 of Dirty Nasty Billionaire: Part 1

I wait for him to chastise me. Or fire me. But what comes next is worse.

He pretends like I never said a word.

He drives his hands deep into his pockets and nods at the room. “Welcome to Scour, everyone. It’s going to be an intense summer. My VP of Operations, Randi Powers, will be in in a minute to talk to you more about your project.”

And then he’s gone.

As soon as the glass door swings shut, Jenna and Amber dissolve into laugher, a few gasping oh my gods escaping amidst the glee. Colin still can’t look at me.

I don’t blame him.

I feel like I want to throw up. Or die. Or throw up, and then die. Mortified doesn’t even begin to cover it. If I don’t get fired, at the very least I’m going to go down in history as the girl who said the dumbest, most embarrassing thing ever on her first day at Scour. They’ll probably tell my story at every orientation, most likely coupled with a presentation from HR on how not to behave when working for a multinational tech company and, oh yeah, also competing to try and get a permanent position.

What. The Fuck. Was. I. Thinking???

That lone thought plays on a loop in my brain, like a dance beat at the world’s worst club. I’m in absolute hell. I’m in a dance club in hell.

The silence in the room is only amplifying my doomsday thoughts, but mercifully, Randi Powers strolls in. If she knows what just happened, she’s a fantastic actor, because she gives no indication that someone in here just committed career suicide in front of Forbes’ Richest Man Alive and People’s Sexiest.

Randi Powers looks like the coolest girl in tech. She’s clad in skinny jeans, a crisp blue Oxford, and a pair of black heels that probably cost twice as much as my rent. Her long brown hair is pulled up in a relaxed top knot, and she’s perfected the no-makeup makeup look. Under normal circumstances, I’d already be plotting how I could set up a coffee date with her so I could learn everything she has to teach me about how to be a powerful, badass bitch in a male-dominated world. But that was before orgasm-gate (as I’m already starting to call it in my head).

Now all I can think is that I hope she doesn’t notice me. Which does not bode well for my future career here at Scour, or anywhere else. Ugh, I’m going to have to change my name and join the Peace Corps after this, assuming they’d even take me (I don’t do very well in the great outdoors).

“Welcome to Scour, everyone! I’m Randi Powers, VP of Operations,” she says, scooting a chair aside and perching on the edge of the conference table. She’s everything I want to be. “Congratulations on earning your spot here. Having seen your resumes and read your statements, I’m sure you won’t let us down.”

This elicits more muffled laughter from Amber and Jenna, and now I’m sweating like I’ve just run a marathon. Seriously, fully kill me.

Randi begins to fill us in on our tasks for the summer.

It turns out, our goal is to research new, up-and-coming tech companies, learning everything we can about their operations, finances, and long-term potential so that at the end of the summer, we can make a recommendation as to which company Scour should acquire.

The pitches will be made directly to Nixon and the rest of the executive board. Each of us will come up with a business strategy and cost structure to justify buying out the particular company we’ve chosen. After we make our pitches, Nixon will choose a company to buy and will then hire that intern on to finish out the acquisition and become the team leader of that project.

It’s the highest stakes internship on the planet. You’re literally lobbying to spend millions of dollars of company money, and at the same time interviewing for a high-level job. Not to mention the fact that our teammates…Yeah, they’re also our competitors. And one look at Amber, who can still barely contain her glee over my most embarrassing moment, and I can tell that (if I don’t get fired) this is really going to be a rip-roaring summer.

I can’t believe I started the morning with so much confidence and murdered every last shred of it by 9:15.

“Ok, why don’t we take a break?” Randi says, clapping her hands together like a very chic soccer coach. “Feel free to visit the commissary and grab a snack, and I’ll see everyone back here in an hour.” And then she disappears out the glass door.

Colin rises from his chair, then stands awkwardly, his hands shoved in his pockets. “So, uh, should we all go together?”

“Thanks, but I don’t need chaperones,” Amber says, lifting her expensive leather tote bag onto her shoulder. “I’ll see you guys in an hour.”

She starts for the door, then pauses, her gaze falling on me. “Maybe not you, though. If they don’t fire you, you should probably just quit. And maybe move. I don’t think I could show my face on the Eastern Seaboard again after that. Maybe you could go to Minneapolis? Atlanta?” She says it like it’s Siberia. Her laughter follows her out the door. Jenna trots quickly after her.

That leaves me alone in the room with Colin, who looks like he has no idea how to escape. “Uh, it’s probably … I mean, it wasn’t that … bad?” His face is growing red at just the memory of what I said. Colin is definitely not a good actor.

“It was, but thanks,” I say, scooting my chair in so he can hustle by. “Let’s just not talk about it, ok?”

“Ok,” he says, letting out a whoosh of breath. At least I won’t have to worry about him hassling me the way Amber’s clearly going to. He looks like he’d just as soon forget the whole thing ever happened.

You and me both, buddy.

Instead of going to the commissary, where I’ll wonder if everyone already knows and is whispering about me (I’m sure Amber’s just dying to start telling people), or hiding in the bathroom being even more pathetic than I already am, I decide to take the middle ground and go for a walk. It’s still cool and gray, the wind fierce off the Atlantic, but at least the drizzle has stopped. Though at this point, what do I care if I come back with raccoon eyes and frizzy hair? I’ll forever be the girl who admitted to never having had an orgasm in front of her coworkers on the first day of one of the most prestigious internships in America.

This will probably be viral on YouTube before day’s end.

I ride the elevator back down to the first floor, much more deflated than I rode it up. I can’t believe I arrived this morning so full of hope and plans. I rolled into Scour ready to rule the entire place. But with one slip of the tongue, now I’m going to be clawing my way up from the bottom of the barrel — if they let me keep working in the barrel, that is. Once I’ve escaped the building, I stroll along the streets of Fort Point, my hands tucked down deep in my pockets. But the cold wind barely registers. My brain is racing so fast it could generate enough heat to warm my apartment on the coldest winter day. I’m probably still sweating, with my luck. This silk shirt might be beyond saving.

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