Page 32 of The Billionaire & the Nanny: Part 4

Nostrils flare, and I know I’m not going to get what I want. But at the very least, I’ve said my peace. From his playpen in the next room, Liam is getting fussy wondering where I am. Can’t stay here anyway. “Listen, girly. You’re not my mom.” Point at my nose. “You’re not my parole officer…” More pointing at my nose. “In fact, you’re not even a good nanny. So keep yourself out of my shit. If I ever tell you anything, it’ll be because you earned it, not because you forced it out of me. Got it? Now, go do your job.”

My heart pounds like crazy.

I don’t need this shit. I don’t need this man ordering me around, I don’t care how much money he’s paying me. Some things are worth more than money, like self-respect and freedom. And for the last two weeks, I’ve felt like I’m living in a prison with only a cute little baby to make my time worthwhile. At first, I’d stupidly hoped that “whatever” was going on between me and Kase would develop into something more, but clearly, it’s nothing.

And I’ve been too stupid and naïve to see that sooner.

“I’m going. And I’m following through with Liam’s routine tonight, maybe even the morning. But after that, I quit,” I hear myself tell him, on the verge of tears. “I don’t need this shit from you, or anyone.”

Storming out of his office, I hear Kase grunt and sigh, as I head to Liam and scoop him up, hugging him close. He becomes paralyzed at first, then wraps his arms around my shoulders. I swear this kid can sense that I need a hug. It’s going to suck leaving him, but I can’t do this anymore. I can’t subject myself to this bullshit, this confusion and forced limbo.

If Kase won’t at the very least be a friend to me after the shit we’ve done together, if he can’t even answer a couple questions, if he can’t admit that there’s something going on between us—maybe not to Mr. Roper, fine, that was out of line, but to me—then we’re done. I mean, look…he can’t even chase after me to see if I’m okay. He really doesn’t give a shit.

And when Liam finally goes to bed that night, I trudge into my bedroom, pride all lodged up in my throat, and start packing. Yeah, I need the money, and this house and bedroom are absolutely gorgeous, plus that kid is going to miss me, but I have to go. I’ve been at rock bottom before, and I can be at rock bottom again.

* * *

My brain is exhaustedfrom all the thinking, overthinking, and rethinking. I settle in with my iPad, ready to watch the next episode of Game of Thrones, when there’s a knock at my door. I stiffen, clinging to the blanket, wondering if I’m feeling strong enough to open it. Yes, Kase has pissed me off for the last time, but a big part of me also wants to see him. Hear what he has to say. But I swear, if he starts ordering me around or making me feel like shit in any way, I’m closing the door in his face. I’ll even leave tonight if I have to. Mom’s always ready to accept me back home at any given time.

With a deep breath, I get out of bed and cross the room, unlocking the door. He stands there, in jeans and a faded Doctor Who T-shirt. He looks like anyone else, not the big-time ad exec or my millionaire boss who, for some reason, doesn’t want to acquire a multibillion-dollar company. He eyes my bags waiting by the door. “Wow. You were serious.”

“What did you think?”

“I thought maybe you were just mad.”

“Sorry, Kase. I don’t operate that way.” I cross my arms, partly to appear serious, but also so he won’t see my braless boobs reacting in any way to his pure hotness. Ignore the hotness, Alana. It bears no importance right now.

“Can I come in?” His dark eyes are soft, and his eyelashes are longer than any man’s have any right to be. I don’t care, because I’m going to stop looking at them now.

I glance away. “We can talk here.” I glance back. Only for a second.

With a heavy sigh, he stares at his cuticles a while. “I want to clear up a few things. First of all, I appreciate you. So please, don’t go.” He waits for me to react, but I’m not shaking any pom-poms for him, as fucking adorable as his face is right now. “Alana, you need to know that my life is complex as hell. And if I seem standoffish about it, it’s because I don’t want to drag you into my problems.”

“You don’t seem standoffish. You seem assholic.”

“Assholic?” A light grin appears then disappears.

“Yes, it’s a word. I just invented it.”

“Useful,” he grunts, crossing his arms. His biceps appear even bigger than they normally do, and I want to run my hands over them. Did I mention I hate Kase Hardwin? “I shouldn’t snap at you. The fact is, I get worked up about a lot of things that have nothing to do with you. In fact, you make these things better.”

I make his life…better? I glance at him sideways. Is this a tactic to get me to stay? Because I’m not budging. Though I will listen. “What are you talking about?”

“Alana, you might not believe me, because I’ve spent an inordinate amount of time avoiding this since you started working for me, and also, part of me doesn’t want to admit what took you ten seconds to realize and then vocalize, but…yes, there’s something between us.”

“Excuse me?”

“There is. At least, I thought there was. I might have totally ruined that, but if you’re determined to leave, then the least I can do is tell you that I haven’t stopped thinking about you since you first walked into my office. And then, since I walked into your room that first night, and every night since.”

“Then why do you always look pissed off to see me?”

“Because. You make me feel things I never wanted to feel.”

“Because you recently lost your wife, you mean? Because it’s too soon? I’m sorry. I’ve tried to be understanding of that.”

He stares at me a second or two. Did I hit the nail on the head? Why else would he look so caught off-guard? “Maybe,” he says, now rubbing his forehead. Clearly, talking about emotions is hard for him. “Alana, I want you. I want you in ways I can’t even comprehend, okay? So please don’t ask me to explain it, because I don’t get it myself. You have to understand that I’ve spent my whole life avoiding women…”

“Except for your wife, you mean.” I side-eye him.

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