Page 27 of The Billionaire & the Nanny: Part 4

I have to take higher ground. “Look, Kase, I’ll prepare a fresh, gourmet meal of steamed baby carrots next time, okay? I’m sorry. It’s just…it’s good to go easy sometimes. He’s a baby, not a science experiment.”

“He needs the best start in life,” Kase mutters. “He’s already lost enough.” He walks away and pauses at the end of the kitchen, thinking about what just came out of his mouth.

Great, now I feel bad. Yes, yes, Liam lost his mother, and Kase lost his wife. I have to remind myself more often that these two are going through hard times. If Kase is crabby and bossy, and Liam is fussy, it’s because they’re missing the most important woman in their lives.

And suddenly, I feel emptier than ever knowing I can never fill that spot for them.

Still, I can’t help but feel like a stupid employee when Kase is in the house, and it stirs up all kind of old emotions I had worked so hard to eradicate from my life. Do this, Mrs. Frasier, clean that, Mrs. Frasier… The Hollands treated us like we were nothing. We could never get anything right because we were too stupid or too poor. It was their way of keeping control, by judging us, and Kase is no different, only more subtle about it.

He’s lost control of his life, so he takes it out on me.

As I begin feeding Liam his offensive jar of carrots, Kase comes over, drops a kiss on the top of Liam’s head, then slips down the hall and out of sight. I let out the biggest sigh my lungs have ever seen.

Can we talk about last night for a second?I want to ask, but I know he wants it to go away. Pretend it never happened. And so I swallow my pride and go on feeling confused for the rest of the day. And the rest of the next, and the next, and the next. If there’s anything good to say about Kase, though, besides the fact that he knows how to run a tight company and can lick my pussy like a pro, is that he knows how to Dad. Kase loves Liam, hugs him, and wants him eating organic, fresh food. He holds him just right, tickles him just right, and he cares about his baby, and that’s not something I’ve yet seen from rich families, especially the fathers. At least not the ones my parents have worked for.

It’s sexy as hell. It occupies my brain more than I’m willing to admit. For an instant, I almost imagine him as the father of a child I might have. That we might be a veritable family in a parallel universe instead of boss, boss’s child, and employee. An employee both of them happen to hate. And just as soon as the fantasy comes, it dissipates, and I’m Alana Frasier, nanny by life circumstances, all over again.

Poof!

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