Page 47 of The Billionaire & the Nanny: Vol. 3

“And partied, Paisley. And drank my weight in alcohol. I wish I would’ve worked harder like you. I wish I would’ve gotten the grades or actually be good at what we do, like you. Instead I have to rely on the only god damned thing that works for me and that’s this.” Her hand draws a circle around her face and tits. “I’ve been jealous of your accomplishments .”

What accomplishments? I lost my job and the best man I’ve ever met, even if he’s full of faults. Doesn’t matter, because I’m full of faults, too. Clearly, I suck at life .

“I know I have to get over it.” Caitlyn blows out a breath and looks around the room like the answers for life are somewhere there .

“You do .”

“Got it.” Her face darkens a bit, as tears rise into her blue eyes and suddenly, I feel bad for her. Okay, she means all this. I should give her the benefit of the doubt for apologizing. “Anyway, I don’t know what’s going on with you and Logan this time, but I just wanted to tell you that I value our friendship. I’ll do whatever it takes for you to forgive me. I’ve been jealous of you and him but now I see that you’re perfect for each other .”

“We’re not perfect for each other. He keeps sending me away .”

“Yea, but then he comes back for you. He knows what he had in you, Paisley. Logan Raider may be the richest man in the city, but he’s also smart, because he loves you. He does. I saw it in his eyes whenever he mentioned you .”

I look at her. “He mentioned me ?”

“Yes. I never told you, because I didn’t want to give you the satisfaction of knowing. I’m going to work on this, I swear. I already have my first appointment with a therapist next week. Please forgive me ?”

Does she really have an appointment? That’s actually impressive. Anyone who realizes their behavior is shitty enough to try and do something about it deserves another chance in my book. I smile a tiny smile, but hey, it’s something, and besides, This Old House is back on. “It’s fine, Caitlyn. Time will pass and maybe…maybe eventually we can get back to how we used to be .”

“Only I’ll be better,” she chokes out. “I’m sorry I hurt you,” she says then disappears. I’m relieved she didn’t walk in and try and go for a hug, because I just can’t touch anyone right now, not even my former-back-to-possibly best friend .

I only wish that ending the bad blood between Caitlyn and I was enough to make me feel better. The truth is that I feel nothing, just numb. And the one person who could make me feel again is never coming back .

* * *

T he subway ridefrom Brooklyn uptown to the City feels like the longest trip I’ve ever taken. I can’t stop thinking about what they’re going to ask me. I also can’t stop imagining how my father might act when he sees me. Like a witness on the stand or like his daughter? Will Logan speak to me or give me the evil eye ?

I hate being in this position but I’m going to do my best. Answer questions. Tell the truth .

Am I angry at Logan for firing me ?

Yes. I haven’t done anything wrong. I said I would defend him. Yet, he’s put my emotions through the ringer so many times, I could bring him down if I wanted to. I could let my anger get the best of me, make him look like some kind of predatory psycho .

But something has been nagging at me—the look in his eyes when he sent me away this last time .

He looked haunted, almost in more pain than me. And that’s saying something, because I feel like I’ve been tortured .

When I enter the courtroom, both Logan and Miriam are there with their respective lawyers. And of course Miriam’s attorney also happens to be my father, which is awkward as fuck .

Then there’s the honorable Judge Someone Harris, a sour-faced woman who makes my stomach hurt. I avoid Logan’s eyes. I have a job to do .

Nothing more, nothing less .

When I finally take the stand and the oath, I’m so nervous I can barely breathe. I suck in a few deep breaths and let them out slowly to will my heart rate back into place. My father looks more handsome than usual in his gray suit. It’s been several months since I’ve seen him. Taking this case has done something for his confidence. It saddens me to know that Miriam is using him, too, though. I want to shake him and say, Daddy, wake up. She didn’t hire you because you’re a good lawyer any more than she got with Logan because she loved him .

But none of that is my business .

I have one goal today and that’s to tell it like it is .

My father steps up to the podium and smiles that handsome smile of his. The child in me wants to hug him. The woman in me remembers that he put his own needs and desires before mine yet again. “Miss Carrington, could you please tell us the nature of your relationship with Mr. Raider ?”

“He’s my employer. I’m his children’s nanny .”

“Is that the only relationship the two of you have ?”

I look at Judge Harris, an older woman who will probably have no mercy on Logan’s soul. “I don’t see what this has to do with my job, Your Honor .”

“Please answer the question,” Judge Harris says coldly. There goes that. Just like Logan knew would happen. Oh, well, it was worth a shot .

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