Page 31 of The Billionaire and the Nanny: Part 2

“So you want to go shopping again? This is about shopping.”

Her face contorts. “Jesus, Zayden, you don’t get it! Didn’t you love that day? Don’t you want to go out again?” She paces again and then she stops, facing me. “I’m starting to feel that you’re just usingme.”

“I’m not and you knowit.”

“Do I?” she scoffs. “How should I know it? When all the signs point to you using me for sex. You know how I know? Because I won’t tell my parents about you, about us. For weeks, I’ve been wanting to tell them that we’re involved with each other, that I think I’ve met a great guy. Then I stop and think, no I haven’t.”

“Nice. Very nice. Stick a knife in my belly while you’re atit.”

“Truth hurts, Zayden. We haven’t even gone out on a single date. This…you, me…it’s nothing. This nightly thing we’re doing might be fun, but it amounts to nothing in the grand scheme of things.”

I knew it’d come to this. It always does. It’s a shame because I really like Bailey. I run a hand through my hair. Because I know I can’t give her what she wants. She wants a boyfriend. “What you’re asking from me, it’s not possibly.”

“Why not? What’s so bad about going out and getting to know each other—and I mean knowing something besides what turns you on? We fall asleep afterwards. We never talk. That’s not how I was raised, Zayden. I love making love to you, but I need more. I deservemore.”

“That’s not my problem,” I say flatly.

Her mouth hangs open. Yeah, I sound like a dick, but I never told her I was open to “more.” I don’t do “more.” She knew that from the beginning. Why is this such a shock to her? “You know what you were getting with me, Bailey.”

Her eyes are watery now. “That may be true, but I thought maybe things were changing. Don’t you feel them changing? The last few times we’ve been in bed have been…I don’t know…different. You told me two months ago that you don’t make love. That you ‘fuck.’ Well, that’s changed, Zayden. Tell me your feelings haven’t changed. If you tell me they haven’t, then I won’t bring this up ever again.”

They have changed.

Absolutely. And that’s why I didn’t want to get involved. Now, I feel like I’m falling for her, a dangerous result, one I’d warned myself about a dozen times. “What do you want from me?” I ask again. I want to hear it clearly.

“I don’t want to be your dirty little secret anymore,” she says. “That’s how I feel. You come here at night, we do things, and then in the morning, the ladies come to the house, and I’m just a nanny again. Every night, you make me Cinderella. And every night, my carriage turns back into a pumpkin. For just once, I wish we’d go for a wild ride in that damn carriage.”

I thought she was going to say for once, she’d like the slipper put on her foot and have a happily ever after. That, I can’t do. Commitment from me is out of the question. But I can take her on the wild ride. I don’t have a problem with anyone seeing us together. My friends are used to seeing me with different women anyway. I’m allowed to like some more than others.

“Then, there’s Olivia,” she adds before I can get in anotherword.

“What abouther?”

“I want…” She hesitates. “I want you to consider keeping her. She’s your daughter and she’s grown to love you so much. Don’t you see it in her eyes wheneveryou—”

“No.” This is where I put my foot down. Courting her, taking her on dates is one thing, but turning me into a family man is not something I will ever bend to. I stand at the window staring into the Upper West Side. “I won’t doit.”

Even behind me, I can hear her sigh. “I can’t stand this cold side of you, Zayden. I don’t know why you dothis.”

“Well, get used to it,” I say, spinning around and heading for the door. This whole conversation has ruined my mood. “Look,” I tell her, pausing at the door. “You’re not my dirty secret. Let’s take it public, I’m fine with that. But I’m warning you, that’s as far as I’llgo.”

She crosses her arms. “Honestly, with an attitude like that, I’m not sure I even want you to take me out anymore. You’re being a dick again.”

“I’d rather be a dick than a liar. Plenty of guys lie straight to your face then act different the moment you turn around. Look, a few weeks ago, you asked me on the roof if something ever happened to me. I never answered. But you need to understand that some people are fucked up for life, okay? And I’m one ofthem.”

She stands in the middle of the room hugging herself in the chilly draft. “Whatever you’ve been through can be overcome. People do it all the time. They learn to love and moveon.”

“Not everyone. And notme.”

“Will you ever tell me what happened?” she asks, her tone softening.

“Not today. Get to sleep. Tomorrow we have a big day ahead ofus.”

“Where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise.” And she’s going to loveit.

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