Page 40 of The Billionaire and the Nanny: Part 2

“I have my reasons.”

“Which you still haven’t shared with me,” she bites back and scoffs. “I don’t know what’s worse—the fact that you won’t fight for your daughter even when you love her, or that you won’t let anyone help you figure outwhy.”

I never asked for any ofthis.

I never wanted to feel, never wanted a single iota of love to flow through my heart ever again. I was perfectly fine flitting from conquest to conquest, attending work-related functions, and coming home to a house all my own, sleeping in my ownbed.

Damn Bailey for making me into a person I’m not, albeit temporarily.

I’m just as upset by Noelia’s release as Bailey is. I really do love Olivia, but I’m not the right person to raise her. Hell, if I could give her to Bailey to adopt, I’d be good with that, but that’s not a possibility.

This was never supposed to be a real thing—Bailey and I were never supposed to get this serious.

Yet I came around. I insisted. I brought her into my bed and mylife.

And now I’m paying the price.

“I take the blame,” I say in a low voice.

“Forwhat?”

“All of it. It’s my fault for insisting.” The sooner I take the blame, the faster we can get through this. I’m tired of going back and forth on whose fault it is that we’re hurting. The fact is, Olivia will be leaving soon. We might’ve gotten off track for a bit there, but now’s the time to get back on it. “You can stay until social services comes to pick up the child, then you may leave.”

My voice is cold. Any kindness from me, and Bailey runs with it, misinterprets, turns this whole thing into an emotional mess. And emotional messes are notme.

“The child?” she scoffs. “And then you may leave? Listen to yourself. Are you seriously talking like this again? I can’t believe what I’m hearing.”

I have to talk this way. It may hurt like a motherfucker now, especially after the awesome day we just had, but one of us has to get back on track. And it looks like that someone is going to be me. “Believe it. Get her to bed, Miss Rainville. I’ll be back to work in the morning and don’t want to hear a fussy baby in the morning hours. Anything you need, you can text one of the girls.” I turn and reluctantly head for the stairs, melted lead filling my chest.

“No.”

“Excuse me?” I turn around.

She’s right behind me, having left Olivia to her own devices in the kitchen. “I can’t let you do this. You’re not thinking straight rightnow.”

“I’m thinking straighter than ever, as a matter offact.”

“No. This isn’t you. This is a mask. You’re putting on the same mask again, because it’s easier than dealing with your feelings, it’s easier than considering the alternatives.”

“There are no alternatives,” I say coldly.

“There are! Fight for Olivia. Whatever hurt you, Zayden, it’s in the past. We can get through this. You’re a new person, and I can help you through this. But don’t put on this fake persona. I know younow.”

Part of me almost crumbles, part of me wants to believe her. But I can’t listen. Can’t let the words affect me. It’s true that she knows me better than anyone has ever gotten to know me. She’s always had that power, but that’s exactly the problem—no one should’ve ever had that power over me. She got pretty close, but no more. “Get her in bed,” I say, my voice like ice and steel androck.

There’s no feeling in my voice and I can see it break her as she hears my words.

“And if I won’t?” Her steely gaze defiesme.

“If you don’t follow orders, I’ll send for a new nanny in the morning,” I tell her and head upstairs, dreading the showdown she’s making of all this. Dreading it because of how weak I am around Bailey.

She doesn’t follow meup.

And thank God for that. Because if she had, I might have fallen to pieces and given in to her, to Olivia, to everything that’s tearing atme.

But alone, lying in bed, I repair the damage and rebuild my walls.

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