Page 38 of The Billionaire and the Nanny

Penelope

As I sinkmy feet into warm water laced with lavender oil, I think about where Iam.

Ethan’s gorgeous house, yes, but where else? Am I his girlfriend, his employee, what? I’m still getting paid and I still watch Lilly Belle, though he’s been taking on a lot more childcare responsibility lately. He even took her for a walk yesterday by himself, which was astounding considering where he came from. But at some point, we should definethis.

I need to know how much I matter tohim.

So…my intention tonight is to take this relaxing bath (because he insisted he could handle Lilly Belle after I’ve had her all day) and then when he comes into my room after bedtime, lead him to talk. Ethan doesn’t talk much. I know when he’s content, and I know when he’s frustrated, but he doesn’t express his feelings much, and when he does, he needs a break. It’s exhausting work forhim.

Sinking all the way in the bath, I lean back against the tub pillow and watch the curls of steam rise into the air. I wouldn’t mind if Ethan walked in right now and gave me some of that sweet-n-sour love that he’s so good at. Some days, he’s so hardcore and filthy, a dirty horny lion, and other days he’s a docile lamb. That’s who he is and it still scares me. I’m still waiting for the day when he flips the switch and decides his fear willwin.

I take a deep breath, taking in the scented air and exhale long and contentedly. I live like a queen. I’m an extremely lucky woman. Soon, I’m falling away into a meditative trance, imagining my family taken care of. Money is no object. I’ve graduated, my business is doing great, and I’m taking care ofthem.

Suddenly, I hear something out in the hallway. Shouting? Ethan’s shouting. At first, I think I’ve fallen asleep and having a bad dream, but then I realize he’s still yelling like the world has ended. A surge of adrenaline shoots through my veins, spreading throughout my body like an atropine injection, and I sit up, splashing water over the edge of the tub. I’m up and grabbing a towel before I can process anything. “What is it? Ethan?”

God, please, please don’t let it be anything terrible.

My brain goes through a mental checklist: did I cover all electrical outlets, did I leave anything sharp lying around, did I baby-proof the entire upstairs before I headed into the bath? Skidding into the hallway, I find Ethan sitting about a third way down the stairs holding Lilly Belle close to his chest. She’s crying, and all I can think is “thank God” that she is. Crying is good. Crying means she’s breathing.

The stair gate is wide open. “Ethan, what happened?”

He pulls Lilly Belle’s head away from his chest so he can inspect her, as I crouch next to her and give her a complete visual check. Her face is pink from crying, fat tears are falling down her cheeks, but otherwise she looks okay. “Shefell.”

“What do you mean she fell? I locked the gate.” Did I? I’m pretty sure I did. I’m pretty good at securing the house, though I could’ve made a mistake.

“Yes, but I went downstairs to get her some juice and forgot to lock it. She fell, Penelope. She fell down the fucking stairs.” He’s nearly in tears, holding the baby so close to his chest, my heart breaks forhim.

“Here, let me see…” I hold out my arms to Lilly, and she immediately flies into them, wailing and wailing her grievances. “I know, baby. Shhh, it’s okay.” Double checking, it seems that her arms and legs and fine. Nothing looks broken. She’s got a nasty bruise on her forehead, though. “How far did shefall?”

Ethan’s hands tremble at his brow. “Several steps. I caught her before she fell all the way.” At this point, I notice the spilled juice cup downstairs, which he’d probably been screwing closed when he noticed the baby falling. “We should go to the ER. Now.” He takes out his phone and calls for an ambulance.

He’s taking this pretty bad. “Babies are pretty tough, you know. Look, she’s already bouncing back,” I say after Lilly Belle’s cries turn to sobs. “She’ll probably only have a couple bruisesand—”

“We’re taking her to the ER,” he hisses, giving me a wicked glare.

I draw back and let it go. No point in arguing with him. Besides, it’s no skin off his back to make sure that she’s well-taken care of, checked out by a doctor, and everything. The fees are nothing tohim.

And even though I’m fairly certain she’s going to be okay, she should be checked out by a doctor to be certain.

“I’ll go get dressed.” Standing with Lilly in my arms, I head to my room, put her on the floor surrounded by pillows, but she immediately wants to be carried. I end up having to get dressed with one arm while I carry her. It’s times like these I think of my own mother.

* * *

At the hospital,Ethan is a wreck. I’ve never seen him so distraught. He paces back and forth while we wait for X-ray and MRI results, and I know he’s going to take the blame for this. I only wish I could tell him that all babies have accidents and survive. Even the doctor told him so, though he did say she was very lucky. It could’ve been worse.

Lilly Belle falls asleep inside of a crib while we wait to be seen by the doctor again. I can tell this is something Ethan has never had to do—wait for service. Apparently, it doesn’t matter how much money you have, this hospital gives attention in order of urgency like they should.

“How much longer, for fuck’s sake?” he mutters, sitting on the edge of a hard metal chair, head in his hands.

“It’s good that we have towait.”

He shoots me a sharp look that makes me instantly regret it. “What the hell does thatmean?”

“I just mean that if it were worse, they’d be attending to her right now. If it was a matter of life or death, she’d be surrounded by doctors and nurses. It wasn’t that bad, Ethan.”

He sucks a deep breath through his nose, like he’s losing patience with me. Never mind that I’ve been patient with him and always feel like I’m walking on eggshells around him. “She could have died, Penelope. I don’t think you realize the gravity of what happened. Those stairs are wood. The bottom floor is polished concrete. She could’ve ended at the bottom with her head splitopen.”

“I know…” I nod, shaking off the horrible image. I see where his shock is coming from, but it still ended well. “It could’ve ended terribly, but it didn’t.”

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