Page 29 of The Billionaire and the Nanny

Penelope

They saythat sometimes in life you get premonitions, or you see things you otherwise wouldn’t be able to see. Well, something about the walk in the park tonight allowed me to see things in a different light, like tapping into an alternate reality. The old couple on the bench saw it, too. They thought we were a family.

Could webe?

But Ethan seemed distracted. I’m sure it’s because of work, but I wanted to be sure it wasn’t me, so after we put Lilly Belle to bed at night, I close the door and turn to him. “Do you want to come to my room?” I ask, putting myself on the firingline.

“I can’t,” he says. “Have a Skype meeting in the morning I have to prepare for, but maybe another time.” Another time. Not tomorrow, not any day/time specifically, just “anothertime.”

Rejected.

But hey, I get it. What’s happening to us is weird, and he’s allowed to feel weird about it, and I should give him space if he needs it. Same with me. “Sure, sounds good.” I fake a smile and slip into my room to let out an antsy breath, waiting to see if he’ll kiss me or change his mind, come charging in to take advantage of me. My body tingles with anticipation and need. I want him so much, but I also want to know where we stand, and if he can’t commit to a kiss, then I should probably push him out of mymind.

He leaves quickly while I get ready forbed.

Only I don’t get to rest long, because Miss Lilly Belle Poopypants has decided she can’t sleep either. I don’t understand. I did everything right—I gave her a nice lavender bath, I gave her a full bottle, sang her “You Are My Sunshine,” and I even put her in her favorite brushed cottonPJs.

It has to be the teething, only when I enter her room, I find her, not only burning up, but sick to her stomach. After changing her, I fetch her some water, but she pushes the bottle away, so I look for the thermometer and see she’s got 101. Baby Motrin, it is. Tummy virus, most likely. We’ll have to go to the doctor in the morning.

I wonder if Ethan would come with us again or blow us off like we don’t exist.

Hot and cold, hot and cold. Ethan is like Lilly Belle’s fever, on andoff.

As it turns out, Lilly has a stomach virus, but thankfully, it’s only the 24-hour kind. We don’t go out much. I guess it doesn’t matter. Germs are everywhere and we did walk through Central Park yesterday. Ethan comes in to check on her every once in a while, looking concerned, and I have to assure him that babies get sick just like adults do, and she’ll befine.

“I just want to make sure,” he says several times.

“Ethan, it’s all good. I promise.” And it is for the rest of the day, but I’m happy to see him worried for her. He should be. Lilly Belle gets back on her feet—well, not literally—but soon, she’s her happy peppy self again, playing with rings, sitting up, falling onto her side and rolling around the room, her preferred method of mobility.

That night, she sleeps like a rock. Taking care of her hasn’t given me much time to think about much else, but I’ve noticed Ethan lingering around a lot, almost like he’s not sure if to come in or not. When he stands in my open doorway in workout pants and no shirt, I almost faint at the sight of him. I expect him to chastise me like he used to for leaving the door unlocked, but he only leans against the frame watchingme.

“Thank you,” hesays.

“For what? Just doing my job.” I pull the comforter close to me. So cold outside. Meanwhile my body heats up for his touch.

“For taking care of Lilly. I know you are, but you don’t have to do it well. You don’t have to care, but youdo.”

“Are you just going to stand there? Come in,” I say from mybed.

“The sassy one speaks. You know, you forget who owns this house, I think.” He walks in and sits on the edge of my bed, like he’s scared to lie down with me. I never know how he’s going to be feeling from one day to thenext.

I take his hand. “I haven’t forgotten. Just fucking with you, Ethan.”

His eyes light up with a smile. “I like when you fuck with me.” The following sigh is so heavy, I can tell there’s a lot on his mind. I pull on his arm to encourage him to lie down with me, and he does. Dying for warmth, I curl up into his chest which feels cool to the touch under the ceiling fan, but after a minute warms up against my skin. I don’t know if we’ll kiss or make love or what. Not feeling well anyway. Must be exhaustion.

I shiver againsthim.

Ethan places his hand on my forehead. “You feel warm. I think you’re getting sick, too, Sweetness. Stay here.” He scrambles off the bed and disappears down the hall, coming back a few minutes later with a glass of water for me and a thermometer. “Yep. You got whatever the baby had. Shit,” he says dramatically.

“It’s alright. It’s not like it was your fault.”

“I could’ve helped more. I could’ve given you time to yourself.”

“It wouldn’t have mattered. Once you catch a virus, you’ve caughtit.”

He gives me two fever-reducing pills, which he practically has to force feed to me, since in the time he’s been in my room, my fever chills spike. I tremble underneath the comforter, wrapping it tightly around me, even though I know I’m not supposedto.

Right away, he’s on his phone searching for information. “Says here you shouldn’t do that. You should let the ambient air cool your bodydown.”

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