Page 57 of No Greater Sorrow

“Who died?”

“No one died.”

Nicolas sighed, pushing his head into the pillow. The night was quiet; there were no crickets at this elevation, only the sound of the Avisai, and the occasional rustle of the night watch making their rounds.

“The Messenger is going to retaliate,” he said softly. “We’re not ready. I need to get up, I need to?—”

“Tad and Orla have been preparing the troops all day. We’re fine for now. You need to rest.”

“Ican’t.”

Aleja pressed her hands against Nicolas’s shoulders as he tried to sit up. “Don’t,” she said sternly. “Half the army saw you passed out atop an Umbramare. They may believe you were injured in battle, but the Dark Saints know better. If you’re going to try to convince them you’re fit to lead until the war ends, you need to wait until you can stand on two feet without looking like you’re going to fall over.”

Nicolas closed his eyes. Aleja did too. She felt a finger brush against her cheek, but it was gone by the time she brought her hands up to capture it.

“What’s our next move?” she said sharply, knowing that if she leaned into his touch now, she would crawl into the bed beside him until the medics shooed them out in the morning.

“We need to reach the Third before they do. We have to warn him before the Astraelis finish the chains.”

“How do we do that?”

“Val said they had it all wrong. They were attempting to summon the Third through death when they should have been doing the opposite. I have an idea.” Nicolas’s voice was sharp and raw from the astringent vapors trapped beneath the tent’s heavy linen.

She waited for him to gather his strength and continue.

“We visit someone lighting the black candle. We save someone who wants to be saved. Aleja, I will need your help. The more magic I use, the faster?—”

“But you’re not supposed to help those so close to death. Won’t the Second…?” She trailed off. It seemed ridiculous to worry about what the Second might do if Nicolas flouted the rules again when it seemed as though he might not survive this punishment in the first place.

“It’s the Third we must worry about right now. We need to go as soon as possible, before they finish the chains, and it becomes dangerous to draw him out.”

“But Nic, you’re—” She stopped herself. “I want to help you, but I don’t know how.”

“Come lay with me for a while?” he asked, and her anger slunk away like a feral cat who had lost a fight. Aleja waited for her inner voice to scold her, but all was silent as she kicked off her boots and crawled beneath the sheets that Nicolas held up for her.

She felt the heat emanating from him but stopped herself from touching his chest, instead placing her hand on his hip.

He murmured, “The only time I feel better is when you’re close.”

“Stop it. I’m supposed to be mad at you.”

A curl of smoke lifted away from one of the candles by the bedside and hovered above them like a curious ghost.

“I’m really fucking sorry,” Nicolas said. It was nothing more than a breath against the top of her head.

“I love you,” she told him. “I’ve loved you in every life I’ve ever lived, and I’ll love you in every life that comes after this. But I’ll only forgive you when I know you’re going to stay with me, because I can’t have it any other way, Nic.”

“I understand,” he said. “And if I’m cursed anyway, I might as well tell you that I love you back.”

She threw her thigh over his, wishing she could press her ear to his broad chest and listen to the thrum of his heart. Aleja remembered their nights of frantic, desperate sex in the weeks before her meeting with the Second. They had been beasts. Monsters. Tearing at one another like they wanted to open each other up and crawl inside. The longing was quieter now, but just as morbid. She would not be satisfied until they had the chance to die together, long from now—their bodies decaying into one indistinguishable pile of bones.

His fingers grazed her jaw, her throat, her sternum. She didn’t pull away as his hand drifted lower, cupping one of her breasts and circling the peak of her nipple with his thumb.

“I cannot believe you’re trying to get laidnow.”

“You were away for a very long time, dove. Want me to grovel some more?”

“Not this time.”

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