Page 49 of What Is Dark Within Me

Aleja tried to think back through every true crime podcast she had listened to in the wake of Violet’s disappearance.Someone knew something. But her mind wandered back to that opulent bed above the throne room and the thought of Nicolas—stupid, handsome, stubborn Nicolas—baring his teeth against her throat as he fucked her. Even the touch of her jeans against her inner thighs made her want to shudder.

“All right. We’ll leave you to it, Amicia,” he said. Perhaps he could sense her discomfort through the bond.

Discomfort is one way of putting it, said her voice.

“Wait,” she said, finally able to focus her mind on a single thought. “Who would they have divulged things to? Anyone who is still here?”

This time, it was Amicia who sighed, leaning her head back. Her small breasts rose and fell under the translucent dress. “Orla was only close to Merit, and Roland preferred his contacts in the human world. Even after he became a Dark Saint, he was never eager to embrace the company of Otherlanders. Except for myself, occasionally.”

“The Dark Saints have always walked among humans,” Nicolas pointed out. His rumbling voice vibrated all the way to the spot between Aleja’s legs. Someone in the room moaned. Lucky bastard, she thought.

“Which is why I didn’t think to mention it,” Amicia said. “He was the youngest among us until Tad came along. It was only natural he’d miss the life taken from him. We all make choices when we’re young we don’t truly understand the consequences of.”

“Did he mention anyone specifically? A family member, maybe? A friend?” Aleja asked.

“To be honest, we never did much talking. But now that you say so, perhaps there was someone. A brother, if I recall. A Dark Saint should never disobey the Second’s laws. We’re not supposed to stay in touch with our families for good reason,” Amicia said.

“Please. If you remember anything else about him. Anything at all,” Aleja urged.

“This was decades ago, dear Aleja. The man is surely dead by now.”

Aleja knew this bit of information was important, but she was overheated, like she’d accidentally fallen asleep in the sun. A gasp escaped her as someone pulled her off the chaise she hadn’t noticed sinking into.

“We have enough. Thank you, Amicia.” Nicolas’s voice. It was deep and rumbling and made Aleja feel like someone had driven a sword through her.

“See you, Nic. And Aleja I hope you’ll stick around for a while. I missed the way people cower around you.”

Nicolas guided her from the room and into the hall, where the cool air diffused some of the heat in her lower stomach.

“I’m sorry. She affects us all, but I thought… since you have half my power—” Nicolas began. Aleja was half-aware her ear was pressed against his tunic, where she could listen to the steady beat of his heart. Gods, Amicia’s influence might be fading, but a part of Aleja still felt desperate, as if she wanted to claw her way into Nicolas’s chest and bury herself inside of him.

“What were we? Back then,” she asked, hoping—pleading—that Nicolas would understand what she was getting at and not force her to explain.

“I told you. We were husband and wife. But that doesn’t matter anymore. It was a long time ago, and you left.”

“The bargain you made with me, then. What was that all about?”

She looked up in time to see Nicolas give a somber smile. “A failsafe on my part. I thought it would keep me from trying to see you again. Clearly, it didn’t work.”

“And what about the next poor sod that falls in love with me? Were you going to scoop his heart out of his chest because he had the gall to think I was cute?”

“A tempting thought,” he said. “But the wording of the bargain was vague. I would have figured something out.”

“That doesn’t exactly inspire confidence.”

“It wasn’t my most thought-out plan, but I couldn’t help myself. Even if you hated me, I wanted to give you power. Power that would keep you safe. Power that was rightfully yours.”

She wondered what Nicolas would do if she slid her thigh between his; if she let herself sink into his body again—to let him devour her like a fire—all vanilla and woodsmoke. His torso burned like a furnace, and when her body throbbed once more, it had nothing to do with the Dark Saint beyond the double doors.

Careful, said the voice.This isn’t a dream.

He didn’t stop her as her hand trailed up his abdomen, past the soft line of hair below his belly button and to the muscles of his chest. Nicolas watched her calmly, though she could feel his heart racing as wildly as hers. It was almost enough to make her lightheaded.

In the past weeks, she had become so accustomed to her Otherlander senses that she hardly noticed them anymore, but the smell of him was suddenly richer, sweeter. If it had been a hint of woodsmoke before, now it was a fire sweeping toward whatever shelter Aleja had cobbled together to protect herself. The sort of fire that devoured towns, cities, kingdoms.

“What if I was curious?” she asked, slipping her hands back from under his tunic and bringing them to his jawline.

He captured one of her wrists, and brought her hand to his mouth, biting her index finger hard enough to sting. “You’re not thinking straight. Even if you were, I’d say you were being very foolish. Our love almost devoured us both once. It was a monster worse than those we slaughtered on the battlefield. You just don’t remember.”

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