Page 45 of What Is Dark Within Me

There had been so much love in her eyes. It must have been obvious to everyone.

Aleja stared at the ceiling and allowed herself to wonder not just what it’d be like on the receiving end of the Knowing One’s affections, but to care for him in return. To find comfort in the flash of his silver eyes. To feel his wings envelop them until they were in a dark world of their own.

She wondered where he was right now. Had he gone to sleep or was he wandering the palace halls under the watchful eyes of its paintings, reliving memory after memory of the wife who had returned to him like a ghost who only wore her face?

Feeling sorry for him? asked the voice.

And, because Aleja could not lie to herself, she admitted she did.

* * *

When it becameclear she would not sleepagain, she snuck out to find Liam, who—while reluctant to get close to the palace with his hunting bow—had tracked another two Remnants, one of which had settled into a burrow close to the blueberry patches.

“It’s like aiming an arrow,” he whispered, as they lay on their stomachs, watching a Remnant paw at the dirt. “Take a deep breath as you aim. Stay completely calm. You’ll feel the right moment. And when it comes, don’t push. Just release.”

Like the last, this Remnant changed forms so rapidly Aleja couldn’t describe it, though she now knew how terrifying they’d been. She had someone else’s memory of a Throne’s blood raining down onto a battlefield.

“I’m sure it’s easier when you can make out the thing you’re looking at,” she grumbled, summoning fire into her hands. That was getting easier, even when she wasn’t angry or frightened; all she had to do was take a cautious step into that locked door in her mind, where she had been stuffing her emotions for years.

Ah. So now you find me useful, mocked the voice.

“Is it flickering?” he asked, fiddling with his arrows’s fletch. “The Astraelis used to look like that to me when I first joined the Knowing One’s army. Human brains aren’t meant to see them as they are but spend enough time here and you’ll get used to it.”

“You don’t strike me as a soldier. How did you get here, anyway?” she asked, because the Remnant didn’t seem interested in their presence and her magic was taking its time to flare to life.

“Like most people do. I was in trouble. I lit the black candle, but when Nicolas arrived, my bargain was so pathetic that I think he felt bad for me,” Liam said with a soft laugh. It was the only time his skin was imperfect, as small lines appeared around his nose and mouth. “He brought me here to lie low for a while, and I never left. Then, the war came and somewhere along the way, this had become my home. I wanted to defend it.”

“Sounds like an interesting story,” Aleja said.

“It is, but it’s too long to tell on a hunt. Are you ready? This Remnant won’t stay still for long.”

She could sense him trying to put the topic to rest and didn’t push. Most people had complicated reasons for lighting the black candle, herself included. Aleja concentrated, letting the heat build in her hands. The magic flickered to life, casting their faces in a golden-orange glow.

“Don’t hold it. Keep breathing.”

A shot of fire fizzled into the dried leaves at the Remnant’s feet and Liam released his arrow, landing it deep into the creature’s throat.

“Not bad!” he said, clapping a hand on Aleja’s shoulder. “A few more nights of this and I think you’ll have it down, firebird. Tomorrow night?” he asked.

“Tomorrow night,” she agreed.

They met another three times in that week, and by the second, she could drive a sphere of flame into a Remnant’s torso. It screamed as it burned. Liam must have caught the way Aleja stiffened, because he whispered, “It’s not alive. Think of it as a ghost. A memory. It’s making that noise out of some ancient instinct.”

There was such a note of sadness in his voice that she felt the urge to touch his hand, but her fingers were still adorned with licks of flame. She had never seen war, but that didn’t mean she was unacquainted with death.

On their third meeting, there were no Remnants to be found and Aleja finally got the courage to pry more into Liam’s life as he walked her back to the palace grounds. “What was it like, the war?”

“A difficult question to answer. War can’t be boiled down to a single feeling. It was bloody, it was loud, but sometimes it was so boring, wewishedthe enemy would make a move. There were nights when my entire troop could do nothing but cower in our trenches waiting to die, and nights when we shared a bottle and sang drinking songs, and I could never remember feeling more connected to anyone in the world. Does the Knowing One never talk about it?”

She winced, glad the darkness hid her expression. “I don’t usually ask. Whenever it comes up, I think he sees—her.”

“Ah,” Liam said. “A difficult situation. I’m sorry.”

“Did you know him back then?”

You really are fucking obsessed, said the little voice in her head, who had been silent for hours.

“Only in passing. As I said, I was under Orla’s direct command. But…”

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