Page 35 of What Is Dark Within Me

A note beside the entry,in scrawling handwriting:

Agnes asked if she could borrow the items I had with me when I found the well, especially the relic. Wants to try some sort of cleansing on them before she attempts to do it on me.

I don’t think it’s going to work.

Called the doctor today. As usual, it went straight to voicemail. When I showed up at the hospital, they told me he was on sabbatical. Something inside me broke and I started screaming. Security escorted me out.

I wish I could talk to Aleja, but it’s too dangerous.

I’m pretty sure I’m going to die.

PARTII

4

A SPELL TO QUELL YOUR ANGER

“Getyour cold nose off her, Garm. She’s going to be all sticky.”

Too late, Aleja thought miserably. She’d barely been aware of the hands pulling her away from the rose garden as the plants around her burned. Maybe if she stayed still long enough, she’d fall asleep, and could beg her grandmother to tell her how to get the hell out of here.

“I know you’re awake,” Garm said, his hot breath against her face.

“Garm! Leave her alone. Aren’t you supposed to be helping Tad with something?”

It was Bonnie’s voice. Aleja waited until Garm huffed and the click of his nails retreated before blinking her eyes open. A kitchen with large bundles of herbs hanging from the ceiling dominated the space. Liquid bubbled in a pot over the fire, and despite themanyemotions Aleja decided she was simply going to shove deep inside of her and never process, her mouth watered.

Bonnie slid a mug across the small nightstand next to the bed where Aleja sat. It was coffee. Delicious, black, much-needed coffee. Aleja took a sip of it so fast it burned her tongue despite her new tolerance for heat, and she cared so little, she took another.

“Guess he did the big reveal, huh?” Bonnie said. Her wheat and flower crown hung slightly askew. “I told that idiot he should break it to you slowly.”

“I don’t know how much of this is real,” Aleja admitted. Her arms were scratched from the rose bushes, and she didn’t want to look at the state of her bare feet, but she felt strangely calm now. Good girl, she told herself. Just shove those pesky old emotions into the void.

Sure, no problem, I’m doing just fine in here, said her voice.

Bonnie seemed relieved when a hiss from the stove demanded her attention, but she kept talking. “It really should be Nic to tell you this, not me, but like I said, he’s an idiot. What do you want—the long version or the short version?”

The woman pulled a perfectly crisped chicken surrounded by fennel bulbs and garlic from the oven. “I think if you try for the long version, my brain might short-circuit,” Aleja said, and with immense relief, watched Bonnie hack one wing off with a knife and put it on a small plate.

“Here. You were always a stress eater.”

Maybe Aleja was wrong. Maybe she didn’t want to know why there was a painting of a woman who looked like herholding handswith the Knowing One. But as Bonnie spoke, the explosions of flavors in Aleja’s mouth were distracting enough that she didn’t interrupt.

“The short version, then. You used to live here a long time ago. We were friends, which is how I know you like your coffee sweet and black, and your food seasoned with so much garlic no one will go near you after you eat until you’ve cleaned your teeth.”

“I don’t—”

“Hush. Eat and listen. Once,” Bonnie began, then interrupted herself with a sigh Aleja was certain was meant to buy her time, “you were one of the seven Dark Saints.”

Aleja had no response to a statement as ridiculous as that, so she took another bite of chicken instead. Bonnie was right. It was the perfect amount of garlic.

“Oh, how do I put this without breaking your fragile human psyche?” Bonnie asked herself.

It’s a little too late for that, the voice cackled.

“Back when you were one of the Saints, there was a second conflict with the Astraelis. War is never pretty, as you know. We all had to do things that haunt us, but you were the Knowing One’s general, the leader of his armies. You saw the worst of it.”

“I’m sorry,” Aleja finally said. There were probably bits of pepper stuck in her teeth, but she didn’t care. “There is no way any of this is true.”

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