Page 83 of HeartTorn

“Did you get her?” she asks at last, her voice terse.

I shake my head.

She curses softly and looks away from me, across the yard to where Elydark and the other licorneir stand together. “Do you think she’ll come back?”

“Not tonight,” I answer, my voice thick.

She presses her lips together tight, then nods.

“How are you here, Ilsevel?” The question hurts as it passes through my tight throat. In my mind I still see her as she was in the valley: burnt, broken. Struggling for each breath. There is no way she could have survived that, and yet . . . “How is it possible?”

She nods toward the licorneir. “It was Diira. Nyathri, as you know her, but that isn’t her name anymore. She came back for me, and—”

I cannot wait a moment longer. I’ve held myself in check as long as I can possibly stand, but no more. Before she finishes speaking, I stride up the steps, catch her by the arms, haul her to her feet, and pull her to my chest.

My lips crash against hers, hard—too hard, too brutal. Yet she does not pull away. A little whimper vibrates in her throat, and her mouth moves under mine, trembling with emotion. I place a hand on her face, tilt her head back farther, and deepen the kiss, while my other hand presses into the small of her back, molding her against my body. She is so soft, so warm, so impossiblyalive.It’s more than anything I dared hope or pray for throughout the hellish hours of this infernal day. If I could capture this moment and spin it into eternity I would.

When I break away at last, it is only to lift my lips a fraction of an inch from hers. “I’m sorry,” I rasp, my voice husky and strange to my own ears. “I must be the most gods-damned fool ever created for not realizing sooner.”

“Realizing what?” she breathes. Her eyelids flutter softly.

“That I need you,” I answer at once, cupping her cheek, running my fingers along the line of her jaw, her throat, feeling the softness of unburnt skin beneath my palm. “Like I need air in my lungs. That I want you more than any dream which ever tormented my worthless soul.” My other hand cradles her face asI gaze down into those flashing eyes of hers. “That I desire never to be parted from you again, from this day to the moment I expel the last breath from my lungs.”

She shakes her head. Tears shimmer between her lashes, spill over in shining trails. “Thevelra. . .” she quavers.

“This has nothing to do with thevelra.”I lean in and kiss those tears from her cheeks, first one than the other. “I knew the truth from the instant I set eyes on you. In that temple, amid the fire and the death and the screams, I saw you. And I knew.”

Gods, I never believed something like this could happen! How does such feeling burst spontaneously to life in the midst of so much darkness? My hand shakes as I stroke hair back from her face. “I didn’t save you from Lurodos for some altruistic purpose. I took you because . . . because I wanted you for myself. I wanted you, Ilsevel. That is the truth, for good or ill. I brought you before the priest, spoke those vows, told myself it meant nothing, when in fact, it meant everything. Everything, do you understand? That is why thevelrais so strong. Nornala refused to let me escape my own heart, even when I thought I wanted to.”

Ilsevel takes hold of my hands, pulls them away from her face. She steps back a pace, staring up at me. “But I was a stranger. I still am.”

“It doesn’t matter. My heart knows you. It knew you from the first. Only I was too stubborn, too frightened to admit it until . . .” My voice chokes, the horror of what took place this dawn still gripping me fast. “ . . . until I saw you lying burnt in my arms. All but dead. Gods damn me, Ilsevel, I thought I would go mad!”

She does not resist when I draw her to me again, kissing her with ferocious need. I taste salt, and it sharpens my hunger. I need that touch, I need that proof of her reality here in my life. My lips pull and mold hers, while my hands press her against mybody. I feel how easy it would be to crush the very life out of her. Yet her spirit is so strong, so vital, so far beyond the grasp of any power of this world. She is a being of pure fire. I want to bask in her glow.

“I love you.” The words spill out the instant my lips break contact. I kiss her again, briefly, viciously, before another torrent bursts forth. “I love you, Ilsevel. And I defy all the demons of Ashtari and the nine hells to take you from me again.”

There’s something in her expression, something I don’t understand. I hook a finger under her chin, tilting her face back, trying to make her avoidant eyes look at me. “Ilsevel?” She shakes her head, turning away. “Ilsevel, do you believe me?”

“I . . . I don’t know.”

Her answer hurts. But it’s no more than I deserve after everything I’ve put her through. “I’ll prove it,” I say, careful to soften the roughness in my tone. “Whatever it takes and however long. I’ll prove it to you somehow.”

Though tears still shine in her eyes, she seems to be lit up inside with an otherworldly glow. Gods above, how did I not realize until this moment just how beautiful she is? “My father—” she begins.

“I don’t care.”

“Your people—”

“I don’t care.”

She bites her lip, dropping her gaze. Then, very softly, so that I almost wonder if I heard her: “I think I love you too.”

I tilt my head, brow puckered. “You think?”

She shrugs a little, half-catching my gaze. “It’s . . . frightening. To say it, I mean.”

“Yes.” I sigh. My chest feels too large, my heart too wild as it careens inside. “You don’t have to love me in return. Not if you don’t want to, not if you don’t feel safe. But I love you. And I’ll say it every day of your life if you will permit me to.”

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