Page 11 of Heart of the Shadow King

“My court gathers tonight to honor those who died in the attack. It is my duty as king to usher their souls into the Deeper Dark and their final rest. The ceremony may take many hours. I will not be able to return to you untillusterling.”

“Oh.” I let him press my head against his heart once more. For a moment, I simply listen to its beating. Then my brow hardens. “And what of me?”

His arms tighten slightly. “I’ll come to you as soon as I can. And I will make it up to you. As many times as you desire.”

There’s a smile in his voice, but I press my hands against his broad chest and step out of the circle of his arms. My heart is like a stone beating against my ribcage. “You told me I am your queen.”

He frowns. “You are, Faraine. My one and only queen, now and forever. Can you doubt it?”

“Your queen should be with you. At the ceremony.”

His face shutters. Love still shines in his eyes, but now his expression is shadowed, wary.

I lift my chin, my hands forming fists. “I should be at your side, Vor. Mourning with you and your people.Mypeople.” I hold his gaze, but he’s pulling away from me, leaving me adrift in a dark and dangerous sea.

“It is a precarious time in Mythanar,” he says. “There are . . . factions. Intrigues. Games being played of which you know nothing.”

“I’m not a child, Vor.” The words bite sharp, stinging my tongue as I speak them. “I am aware of the turmoil in Mythanar. I know there were those in your council who urged you to behead me. What’s more, there were some who tried to drive your hand via poison. I am not a fool. It was my life on the line, after all.”

“It is your life on the line still.”

“Yes. It is.” I take a step nearer to him. “But if I am your queen, I should stand beside you. I can help.”

“You have already helped.” He reaches out to take my hand. “You gave everything. You gave your life! You owe nothing, my love. Not to me. Certainly not to Mythanar.”

“Who said anything about owing?” Part of me wants to yank my hand out of his, angry at this barrier he’s putting up between us all in the name of love. Instead, I press his fingers. If only I could somehow force my own feelings into him, to make him understand. “This ismylife, Vor. I spent so many years hidden away because of the inconvenience I posed to those who viewed me as weak, useless. But I am stronger than they believed. Were you not the one who said only a coward would keep such strength hidden behind closed doors?”

His eyes widen. It doesn’t take a gods-gift to read his shock, horrified at having his own words hurled back at him. I press my point home. “I am not to be wrapped in silk and stored away for safekeeping. I have proven myself.”

“It’s not so simple, Faraine.” Vor lets go of my head, turning away from me. He paces across the room to the dark hearth, staring into the shadows of the empty fireplace. “I didn’t bring you back to life only to throw you to the devils. And that’s what I would be doing if I pushed you under the eyes of my court just now, so soon after this crisis.”

“So, you will insist on holding me captive?”

“No!” He whirls around, silvery hair wafting across his shoulders. Anguish illuminates his eyes. It’s almost enough to make me back down. But I won’t give up whatever advantage I have.

“Then you must give me the freedom of my own choice. Let me decide what risks I will take.”

He shakes his head. “I need you to trust me. A little longer. My people . . . They have no idea what you’ve done for them, how indebted they are to you. I hope in time they will come to understand, and you will receive the honor you deserve.”

“What time?”

Silence follows my words, sharp as the falling stroke of the headsman’s ax. Because we both know the truth: there is no time. His city, his world, is in grave danger. Whatever burdens he sought to carry today, they have only added to his overall hopelessness and despair, not relieved it. The magic I enacted in the Urzulhar Circle may have put a stay on Mythanar’s doom. But doom is coming, nonetheless.

Vor sags. Mighty though he is, in that moment, he looks ready to break. “Faraine,” he says at last, his voice ragged on the edges. “Faraine, you hold my heart, my soul. Everything that is mine to give. But I am still King of the Under Realm. I must do what I believe is right for my people, regardless of my own feelings in the matter.”

“And what of me?” I persist. “Am I not queen?”

“You are my queen.”

Mere hours ago, he’d declared me Queen of Mythanar. Apparently, whatever happened today was enough to make him regret those words.

I turn from him, wrap my arms around myself. A sob catches in my throat. I look around the room, this chamber which has been my prison. Lastdimnessit had become a haven, a paradise, fit for only the two of us.

But I will never be what Vor needs. Though he loves me, he will never fully choose me.

Suddenly he is behind me, slipping his arms around me, burying his face in my hair. “Faraine!” he moans. “Faraine, my heart! If I could free myself of the burden of this crown I would. But to drag you out into the open would be to put you in danger. Would you ask that of me? Would you require me to risk what I love most in all the worlds?”

I don’t answer. Because I know he speaks the truth. We are both of us prisoners in our different ways. So, I don’t resist when he turns me to face him, when he cups my cheeks and kisses me. I even relent enough to kiss him back. As that vibration of souls opens between us once more, I feel again his pain, his fear. But always his love. That I do not doubt anymore.

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