Page 18 of Gunnar

Supper consisted of the yummiest hamburgers and hotdogs I’d ever tasted. The burgers were juicy with just a hint of smoke taste from the charcoal grill, and the dogs were just this side of burnt.Delicious! Sure, there were other things, but the burgers and dogs were my main concern. I ate three. Of each. Now I was so sleepy I could barely hold my head up while Gunnar continued to work on my hair.

“Almost finished, baby,” he murmured as he continued to pick at a few of the tangles. He’d only had to cut out a couple of very stubborn knots he couldn’t get out. Just a few strands here and there. I’d call it a win, but I was just too tired to celebrate.

“Yay…” My gratitude was great, but my enthusiasm was somewhat lessened. Not for lack of trying. I was dead where I sat.

His warm chuckle filled me with contentment. How had this man sucked me in so completely? I’d been in his company a few hours -- not counting sleeping off the drugs I’d been full of -- and I already couldn’t imagine my life without him. “The best part is, your hair will be completely dry by the time I’m done. You can go to sleep without a wet head.”

“Yay…”

We were sitting on the bed in the back bedroom Mama and Pops had given us to clean up and rest in. Gunnar was at my back with one leg bent beside me, the other hanging off the side. It probably would have been more comfortable if he’d had both legs on the bed and me between them, but he was taking great pains to not pin me in. I was more grateful to him for recognizing I might be a little claustrophobic. I had my knees tucked under my chin with my arms wrapped around my legs. My eyes were closed, and I was drifting as Gunnar made pass after gentle pass with the brush over my hair.

He chuckled, leaning in to kiss my cheek before whispering, “You think you can sleep now if you lie down?”

“Yes. Would you mind staying with me for a while? Maybe hold me or something?”

He paused before setting the brush aside on the nightstand. I thought he might be going to refuse me. After all, he was supposed to be talking with his mother and sister. Then he urged me to lie down and, to my surprise and more relief than I should have been comfortable with, wrapped his muscled, tattooed arms around me in a warm, soothing embrace. “I’ll stay with you as long as you fuckin’ want, baby.” I loved the gruff tone of voice. He sounded like he might be as emotional as I was.

I wrapped my fingers around one of his forearms where they crossed in front of me, holding me to him. He grunted once. The second I settled, I took a deep breath… and I was out.

* * *

I woke to voices in the distance. I thought there was tension in the conversation and I gasped, sitting upright and scooting back until I felt the wall at my back. Only, the wall had some give to it. Not much, but it felt off. Besides, there was something in the back of my mind telling me to calm the fuck down. That’s when I realized I was actually in a bed, and nothing stank like dirty feet and excrement.

I took several deep breaths, trying to get my heart rate under control. The spike of adrenaline left me shaky and out of sorts, but everything came back to me in a rush. I was safe. One of the voices outside the bedroom was Gunnar’s. There was more than one woman’s voice talking over each other and one was now sobbing uncontrollably.

I was dressed in a pair of soft cotton pants and a T-shirt. Since I had no idea who else was out there, I took time to find the items Angel had brought for me and dug through them until I found a cotton sports bra. I slipped it on before putting the shirt back on, then opened the door carefully.

Our room was at the end of the hall. To get to the living room, I had to turn a corner that led out of the hallway. Instead, I stood at the corner and listened.

“But you don’t understand, Mom! This is all my fault!”

“Hannah, you’re not thinking straight.” I recognized Angel’s voice and heard the tears when she spoke. “None of what happened was your fault.”

“But it was! It was! Gunnar, I’m so sorry!” I heard Gunnar grunt and Hannah’s sobs were muffled. She was likely hugging him.

“NO, Hannah!” Her mother snapped and I peeked ‘round the corner. Gunnar had his arms around his sister and Angel stood with them, forcing Hannah’s face up so Angel could look into her eyes as she spoke. “I know what happened. I know Gunnar protected you. He made a choice. Don’t dishonor that sacrifice with regret.”

“Gunnar lost fifteen years of his life because of me, Mom!”

“No, he didn’t.” I stepped around the corner, my attention focused on the two women, but I couldn’t help a glance at Gunnar. He looked like he was helpless in the wake of his sister’s tears. I seemed to remember a similar look when I was a hair’s breadth from my breaking point.

Hannah turned her face away from me and into her brother’s chest while she hastily wiped at her face with the sleeve of her shirt. It took her a couple of seconds, but she heaved in a shuddering breath, then turned to me. “He spent fifteen years in hell when he should have been living his dream. He was going into the military so he could be part of ExFil with Dad and my other brothers. Because he’s a convicted felon, Dad can’t hire him and Gunnar can’t help Dad run the place when Dad finally retires. Everyone lost out. Because of me.”

“Sometimes life throws a kink in your plans.” I didn’t want to make light of Hannah’s feelings, but I had a very different opinion of Gunnar’s sacrifice. “If Gunnar hadn’t gone to prison and met my dad, I’d be wishing I was dead right about now. I hate that Gunnar had to go through what he did, but while he was there several things happened to change the course of both our lives. Mine for the better. His? I don’t know. But if he hadn’t met my dad, hadn’t learned how to fight dirty and relentlessly, I wouldn’t be sitting here today. I’d have been sold to the highest bidder and probably killed shortly thereafter once they realized they couldn’t control me with drugs.

“So, as much as I would never want anyone who didn’t deserve to be there to go to prison, I’m glad Gunnar is the man he is. And that man took a prison sentence for his beloved sister so she could have the life he thought she should have. I suppose, in a way, he sacrificed himself for both of us. Thank him. Love him. But let him have the credit for his sacrifice.”

There was silence in the room. Then someone to my left sniffled. Then Angel let out a small sob. Then it was on. Snotfest of epic proportions. Turned out, Mama was the one who let loose that critical sniff. She soon pulled all of us into a circle and everyone had a good cry before we all laughed.

Gunnar hugged his sister for a long time. They spoke softly to each other while Angel and Mama fussed over me.

“You should still be asleep, child.” Mama brought me a glass of water and I smiled as I took it from her. Pops appeared behind her with a tray of cheese and crackers. He looked disgruntled, but winked at me as he sat the tray down. “You couldn’t possibly have rested enough.”

I caught Gunnar’s look and shrugged. “Once I metabolized the rest of the drugs, I felt much better. And to be perfectly honest, the bath did me more good than anything. Gunnar was even able to get most of the knots out of my hair.” I tugged at one curl gently as if to illustrate my point.

“He was always good at getting out tangles.” Hannah gave me a watery smile. “I’m sorry if it seemed like I was making light of your situation.”

I shook my head. “I never thought that. Not at all. I have a different take on the situation and hoped it might bring you some comfort to know I owe him my life. You too. If you hadn’t let him take charge, I would never have met Gunnar. He’ll have to decide if I was worth the years he spent on the inside with my dad, but I intend to never make him regret doing what his instinct demanded of him. And that was protecting his sister.”

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