Page 98 of Sinner

Making tough decisions had never been my forte. Yes, I’d made plenty of them through the years, but the one I’d had lingering over my head had been more daunting that any before.

Take the promotion with Sindom or decline and hope for the best with Blackwell.

I’d been driven straight into a wall of my own making. A part of me had expected another expensive black note card with gilded calligraphy revoking my invitation to the final test.

I’d even called in sick on Monday to buy some additional time to think and prepare.

The time I’d spent with Xander weighed on my mind, but not a word had been said about my job application or the final test. Maybe he was easily able to separate the crazy tryst we’d found ourselves involved in, but it was tough on me. Did I think there was such a thing as the perfect happily ever after? No. Anyone who did really had a screw loose.

But being faced with the reality behind what had been nothing more than fantasy and role playing was difficult to swallow. Yet a part of me continued to tingle from the same heightened excitement as the incredible night we’d shared.

Sadly, a note hadn’t arrived from Blackwell. There hadn’t been an email, a text, or a phone call either. That had driven me into a horrible position.

What had this deceptive girl done? Covered both bases. I’d accepted the promotion and continued to prime myself to win this test. Wasn’t I as conniving as I knew Xander to be?

The creepy crawlies had returned the moment I’d walked outside of work heading to my car. It had remained as I’d pulled into the driveway and walked into my house.

He was out there.

Watching.

Waiting.

Just like always. I remained in the shadows, staring out the kitchen window toward the side street. This was one time I almost hated living on the corner. It allowed for too much access to my house. All the doors and windows were locked, although Xander would have no trouble getting inside. It was almost as if I was baiting him, daring him to enter my humble abode. I’d seen his silhouette appear and disappear several times over the last two hours. He wasn’t just stalking me. He was laying claim to something that didn’t belong to him.

Me.

A little nagging inside my head reminded me that I’d also been taking comfort in the fact Xander was there, keeping me protected from whatever monster might lurk in the darkness.

Other than himself of course.

I’d used my time on Monday wisely though. If I was going to have any hopes of winning the last contest over whatever opponent I’d have, whether Sinner or someone else, learning everything about a funhouse, a carnival and what to expect had been important.

I’d also attempted to find out as much as I could about Xander, but other than what had been printed over the years regarding the company, there was very little personal information. Sure, he’d been photographed with a woman or two, but nothing had seemed serious.

There was equally little about Wilder and Zachariah. It was as if the three men hadn’t existed before the formation of the company. Of course given their brilliance in computers, it was entirely possible they’d put enough firewalls around their private information, but I was good with them too.

There was nothing.

Hell, I’d even gone to the dark web searching for anything I could find.

That’s what I was doing at this moment, waiting to see if there were any bites on my questions. Sometimes people liked to spout off bullshit, but at least a percentage of the answers were based in partial truth.

The only other option was confronting my father, but I didn’t need a lecture on top of everything else. However, at some pointI’d need to have a very frank conversation with him. I was a big girl and could live my life the way I wanted. If he’d lied to me, even in an attempt to protect me, I had a right to know why and to share my thoughts.

I paced the floor as I’d done on and off for almost two hours. The wineglass was still full. I’d had maybe a couple of sips. I just couldn’t get over the feeling that I was being watched for an entirely different reason.

My stomach had remained in knots all day long. I’d half expected Sinner to come barging in through my front door in the middle of the night. I’d yet to hear from him and I wasn’t certain how I felt about it.

After the intimacy we’d shared, I’d been left in a funk, trying to act happy about getting the new position. Right now, I was just overwhelmed with doubt and confusion.

Being honest with myself had been tougher than I’d realized possible, but I’d come to the conclusion I didn’t hate Xander and that I also believed he felt tremendous sadness along with some guilt. I also enjoyed his company both as Sinner and as the saint he’d turned out to be.

How strange.

How ridiculous.

How wrong.

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