The hate I’d felt for years had suddenly disappeared.
“I’m sorry, baby girl, but your sister is dead.”
“What?” I stood right where I was, staring at my father as I tried to process the words. I’d known she’d been sick, so very sick. But she was getting better. “She’s better. She’s home.”
He shook his head. “She came home to die, Jess.”
“Where is she? I want to see her.” I started to run from the room and my daddy stopped me, bending down and holding my arms.
“I can’t let you do that, baby girl. She…”
“What? What, Daddy?”
“I’m afraid she was so upset she couldn’t tolerate living any longer. She drowned.”
“Because she was sick?”
“No,” he answered. “Because the man she fell in love with left her.”
Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.
I was instantly jerked awake, opening my eyes and staring up at a stark white ceiling. While my vision was clear, my head remained fuzzy. Something didn’t feel right.
The buzzing sound continued and it took a few seconds to realize it must be an alarm. Turning my head toward the sound, thebright red numerals of the clock pulsed slightly. It was the dim glow of my clock.
What?
I rose to a sitting position, instantly yanking the covers up to my chin as I scanned the room. This was my bedroom. The few bottles of perfume I owned were in the exact place I’d left them on my dresser. The book I’d been trying to read for weeks was on my nightstand crowded next to the clock.
My closet door was slightly open, just the way I’d left it when…
What the hell was going on?
The ugliness of the dream filtered into my mind and I stifled a cry. It was the first time in over a year I’d experienced the memory in a dream. Agony tore at me. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t think about it. No.
Had Xander lied to me or had my father pushed away the one good thing in my sister’s life?
A single sob rose up from my throat, but that was it. No more. Going down the ugly road wasn’t going to ease the nagging sorrow or answer any questions. I was finished with living a life dependent on revenge. What would it accomplish? What was going on with my brain?
I pressed my hand to my head, trying to grasp the last thing I remembered.
Being carried to the bed. His bed. Sinner. Or Xander. I wasn’t certain which of the two personalities he’d been at the point when he gently eased me under the covers, tucking me in as if I’d been a good little girl.
Still thrown, the fact my brain was in a tremendous fog brought a trickle of fear. How had I gotten here? Had he brought me home late and I just didn’t remember? How was that possible? I’d had a couple of drinks, but certainly not enough to intoxicate me. Was it possible he’d slipped me a mickey of some kind?
Or… A knot formed in my stomach.
Was it possible that I’d imagined the entire thing? I jerked the covers away, noticing I was wearing the thin nightgown that I alternated in wearing at night. My car. Hold on. If he’d brought me home, then my car wouldn’t be in the driveway.
I threw back the covers, planting my feet on the floor. While I wasn’t exactly woozy, I was still unsettled on my feet as I stood. I even had to grip the chair and the edge of my dresser on the way to the door. I wasn’t certain if I was praying my car was in the driveway. If it was then I was nuts.
The living room blinds were closed and as soon as I pulled them open, I cringed and looked away for a few seconds. When I finally had the courage to glance outside, I nodded over and over again.
I was completely and unequivocally insane.
My car was right there.
Turning away from the spectacle, I took several deep breaths, steadying myself as I headed back to my bedroom. At this point, all I could do was crawl under the covers and hide.