Page 124 of Sinner

“Yes, you do.”

Jessica’s blush forced my balls to tighten. She pulled her hand away, staring forward as if something else was on her mind. “I hate that my reputation was sullied. I would never do anything to hurt Sam.”

“I know you wouldn’t.”

“He could never trust me again. Do you trust me?”

“If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be offering you a job.”

“When do I start?” Her eagerness was powerful.

Now I was the one who gave her a stern look. “A few days. Perhaps on Monday. I have a few loose ends to take care of.”

“Okay. Whatever you say.” She looked away again.

“What is it, Jessica? I can tell you have many questions.”

“You never talk about your brothers.”

“Well, we haven’t done much talking, now have we?”

She gave me a hard look and sighed. “I’m serious. Are you close with them?”

“As close as strangers can be after working together for several years. We’re very much alike.”

“Is it true you grew up in foster care?” There was no reason for her question to trouble me. While we rarely talked about our pasts, the fact we’d been brought up separately in the system was information that could easily be found if someone was looking.

“Let me guess. Your friend Stephanie told you that.”

“She did when she warned me about you.”

“Because of her father.”

Nodding, she scooted all the way around to face me. “He’s some bigwig and I don’t care what he has to say.”

“He had some issues with Wilder. I don’t know the details because I don’t care. Yes, we were abandoned as young children and no one wanted the burden of taking three infants into their homes. We were so young Zach and I have no memory of our earlier childhood. Wilder doesn’t talk about what he remembers, but I have a feeling he does.”

“Have you ever wanted to find your biological parents?”

I leaned over, rubbing my finger under her chin. “There are some questions and concerns in life that are best left unanswered.”

“But the truth is important.”

“Not when folded in darkness.”

“That’s very sad. Why wouldn’t you want to know?”

I needed to answer her carefully. “What my brothers and I endured is the kind of life horror movies are crafted from. We never knew why we weren’t loved when we were young. When we got older, each one of us figured out we’d been lost in the system, the foster families wanting the money and not the responsibility. The three of us were dealt horrible hands in life and to be honest with you, dredging up the memories or learning more about our parents will only bring back the intense loneliness and anger.”

“You experienced abuse.”

I took a sip of my drink. Other than with Wilder and Zach, I’d never talked about any of the experiences I’d endured with anyone, including the couple of child psychologists I’d been forced to see before I was a teenager. The visits had stopped after I’d threatened one of them. That was something I regretted. The poor woman had simply been doing her job.

“Do you really want to know about my childhood and the horrors I suffered?”

“Maybe not, Xander, but the past doesn’t need to define you.”

I was laughing again and certainly not for the same reason as before. “Perhaps you’re right.”

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