Page 54 of Come Back to Me

My headache is gone by early afternoon, but I don’t offer to relieve Reynolds on the squad.

I figure if everyone still thinks I don’t feel well, then they won’t question why I’m sitting alone in a darkened room. I don’t want to try to talk aboutitwith any of them.

It’s easier this way.

I pullup to Emily’s and take a deep breath. Teddy’s beengone a little less than a week, but she’s asked me to help her box up some of his things.

She called me to say it’s too hard for her to look at them every day. So, she wants to put them in the attic until she feels ready to go through them more thoroughly.

Emily opens the door just as I lift my hand to knock and she wraps me in a hug.

When we pull apart, I hand her one of the coffees I brought and kiss her on the cheek.

It’s a pleasant morning, so we decide to have our coffees on the back patio before we get to work. We sit in silence for a good fifteen minutes before she says anything.

“Did you read your letter?” she asks in a near whisper.

I want to lie to her, but I can’t. “No, not yet.”

“Why, Jack? Maybe it will help with a tiny bit of the pain. Mine did.”

I say nothing for several seconds, and I can’t look at her. I failed her, too, by not watching out for Teddy better.

“I’m just not ready yet. It’ll make it feel too final,” I say. I don’t tell her I’m afraid it will confirm that I was partially to blame.

As if she can read my mind, Emily reaches for my hand and says, “It’s not your fault, you know. I know you. You’ve been taking care of Teddy since you guys were fourteen years old. I know you’re going to blame yourself. He didn’t want that. He said so in his letter…”

I stand up and walk a few feet away from her, suddenly very interested in her flower beds. I try to keep the moisture building under my eyelids from spilling over onto my face. Once I’ve gained my composure, I clear my throat and turn back toward her. “Let’s go try to tackle some of this, yeah?”

Emily smiles sadly at me. “Sure Jack. Let’s start upstairs.”

Four hours later, we’ve made as much progress as we think we can handle for today and we call it a day.

It’s still early enough that Annie won’t be home from work for a few hours and my parents have been watching Gracie for me for the last few days, so I don’t have to get home right away.

I miss Annie. I miss her like crazy. But I’m also in this weird head space where I’m afraid to see her. I’m barely keeping my guilt in check as it is. She doesn’t need to see this side of me. I decide to head home and throw an overnight bag in my car in case I can muster the courage to face her.

Two hours later, I walk into O’Riley’s. It’s only three o’clock in the afternoon, so the place is unusually quiet. I order a whiskey on the rocks and Benny O’Riley gives me a look of surprise, but says nothing.

He knows I rarely drink alcohol. He also doesn’t say anything when I ask for a second whiskey a half hour later. When I order a coffee an hour after that, he looks relieved. Until I ask for two shots of whiskey in it. Benny gives it to me but then leans forward on the counter.

“Do you want to talk about it, Jacky?” he asks.

“Nope,” I say, taking a sip. “Nothing to talk about.”

CHAPTER 25

ANNIE

It’s six-thirty p.m. and I’ve been texting Jack since I got home an hour ago to see if he’s able to come over tonight. So far, he’s not answering and it doesn’t look like he’s read any of my texts.

Just when I’m thinking about jumping in the car and driving over to his house to check on him, my phone rings.

“Hello?” I answer, not recognizing the number.

“Annie, it’s Ben.”

My stomach drops. “What’s wrong? Did something happen to Jack?” I ask in a near panic.

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