Page 12 of Cayden

“Come in.” She pushed herself up and hoped she did not look as awful as she felt.

“Ms. Blair…” Her personal maid, Maria, beamed at her as she hustled in with a tray. “Mr. Cayden said I should bring you something. He just had coffee as usual” She placed the tray on the bed next to her.

“I could not even persuade him to have some of chef’s delicious croissants. They are freshly baked.” The woman chattered on asshe went about picking up the clothing that she had forgotten were still on the carpet. Embarrassment swamped her and she tried to explain it away.

“Uhm, my husband…, he…!”

“No explanations necessary.” The woman beamed at her as she draped the articles of clothing over one ample arm. “Would you like me to draw you a bath?”

“No thank you,” Blair shook her head. “I am going to spend the day with my dad, and I think I am in time to attend services at his church.”

“Wonderful!” The woman clapped her hands. “I will pick out something for you to wear.”

Blair opened her mouth to stop her, but realized she did not have the strength and her appetite was non-existent. It had taken her several hours to finally fall asleep and it had been a very restless one.

But she had to get out of this luxurious prison. And church was a sanctuary, she needed right now. Picking up the tray, she did her best to eat some of the food.

*****

He drove the Porshe. It was appropriate for the ‘need for speed’ he needed at the moment. His eyes were gritty from lack of sleep, and he could feel the anger burning inside his gut.

He had stood by the bed staring at her huddled under the sheet and felt the anger and fear vying for supremacy. And he was bloody furious. She had taken on something that had a hell of risk attached to it.

They had discussed it at length, gone over every detail, done their research. And had decided, both of them had come to a decision not to take that direction, not yet. The doctors had examined them thoroughly and assured them that there was no logical or medical reason they could not produce a child, they just needed time.’

He had seen her retreat a little more each time she was pregnant, and it ended in a miscarriage. She had cried bitter tears and had withdrawn into herself every time it happened. It broke his heart to see what a failed pregnancy did to her.

The last one was just six months ago. Dammit to hell! He pressed his foot down and the car jumped forward, engine purring as he gave it speed. He had no bloody idea where he was going. All he knew was that he had to get away. He could not be in the same space with her. Not now!

*****

“Are we going to talk about it?”

Turning her head, she gave her father an absent smile that did not quite reach her eyes. The service had been wonderful and had given her a much-needed respite from her troubles. But now she was seated in the cozy living room with a fire burning at her back and the tiredness invading her bones.

“I miss mom so much,” she said suddenly, trailing the gold belt tied around her waist through her fingers. “Her quiet demeanor and the way she always seemed to know exactly what to say.”

“She certainly had a way with words,” Blake handed her a cup of tea, “I am making beef stew.”

She nodded and took a sip of the tea. “Mom would tell me what to do or how to deal with this.”

“I don’t think her talent would have extended that far.” Her father said gently. “Honey, what happened? You showed up here, just as I was heading out for church and have not said a word. I am assuming you told your husband about the pregnancy.”

She nodded, tears clouding her vision. “He’s very angry.”

“Angry that you’re pregnant or that you went about it without telling him?”

She lifted a shoulder listlessly. “I think it’s both.”

“Honey, what did you expect?”

Her tear brightened eyes sought his. “What else was I supposed to do?” She demanded.

“Let nature run its course. I know you want children, but we have a way of trying to play God. You have it in your head that you have to give your husband an heir and that thought has been channeling your decisions, taking over your life. I know you, Blair.

Whenever you get something in your head, it stays there and nothing can move it.” He smiled wryly as he sat back in the comfortable rocking chair.

“You inherited that from your mother. She would get an idea and latch onto it with both hands.” His expression turned wistful. “And you’re right, she would know just what to say in a situation like this.” He stared at her for a moment. “I am afraid for you.Afraid that in your quest to have children, you have gone too far.”

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