Page 19 of Fire

“I don’t want to fight about this with you, Grace,” he responds, turning to look at me. I look briefly at the door, wishing we were inside. His hand comes up and caresses my cheek. His thumb slides back and forth gently as he smiles down at me.

“I don’t fit into your world, Ford. If anything, seeing Andrew and Roman again tonight brought that home. You need a woman like Sloane. That’s not who I am. It’s never going to be. Honestly, I don’t want to be that. I like my life quiet. I want it revolving around my son, because he’s everything to me.”

“I don’t know the story between you and Vector?—”

“It’s something I want to forget. Let’s just say he discovered I wasn’t worth his time and cut me out of his life easily.”

“Then, he’s a fucking idiot,” Ford growls.

“No, it’s me, Ford. My grandmother used to say I was born cursed.”

“She sounds like a bottle of piss with a red bow on it.”

My eyes widen in surprise as I look up at him. I wouldn’t have thought it possible to laugh, but I do it. “What the hell, Ford?” I giggle.

His dark eyes twinkle down at me. It feels like they’re sparkling with humor. It’s enough to make my knees weak—a familiar feeling around him.

“That’s what I want,” he practically purrs.

“Huh?”

“I’d wage a war to hear your laughter, Gracie,” he whispers.

I think this is only the second time that he’s used that version of my name. Others do it without thought. That’s just who I am. The fact that Ford uses it sparingly, and only when he’s being sweet to me, makes me catch my breath.

“Wars are bad,” I remind him jokingly.

“I don’t give a fuck.”

I swallow, trying to bring myself back to reality. “Everyone in my life has discovered what you need to, Ford.”

“And what is that?” he asks.

“That I’m not worth your time.”

“Grace—”

“I’m not lying. Everyone that has been important to me have all felt that way. Andrew is just one in a line of many.” I sound like I’m feeling sorry for myself, but I’m not. My own parents didn’t want me. My grandmother sure as hell didn’t. I thought I just lost out on the parent lottery. Andrew showed me the error in that line of thinking. Benny just kept pounding it home—literally.I really like Ford, more than I should. He’s not for me, though. Life gave me one good thing. That’s my son. He’s the only one that I can afford to expend my energy on. I forgot that momentarily. Seeing Andrew once more and how attentivehe was with Sloane, and how Roman was with her, sealed it. All this time, I thought Andrew and I were in love. We discussed marriage. I gave him my virginity. I was a stupid woman with stars in her eyes. I was never a true part of his life. I was never loved. Those were just empty words.

“There’s something you don’t know about me, Gracie,” he says softly—not taking his hand away from my face.

“What’s that?” I ask, feeling sick to my stomach.

“I am not like anyone else—especially when it comes to you. It may take me time to make you realize that, but I’m willing to work to get in your heart.”

I ignore his words. He probably means them. Maybe Andrew meant his promises in the beginning. I know better, though. “Let’s go inside. I’m hungry,” I lie.

Ford exhales but turns and uses the keycard to unlock the door. I step inside, wishing I could make an excuse to just go to bed. I know that’s not possible, so I paste a fake smile on my face. I just need to get through tonight and get home to my son.

That’s all …

14

GRACE

I look in the bathroom mirror, staring at the woman with hollow eyes that is reflected there. I hate being the woman that Benny turned me into. Ford had such a great time last night. He was nice enough not to question me too much about Andrew. He even seemed to let it go after I mentioned we dated briefly before I got married. I really like Ford, but I can’t be the woman he wants. Last night was proof of that. My conversation with Andrew opened wounds that were better left alone. I don’t hate the man, but what he did hurt deeply. He may not be responsible for my marriage to Benny, but the way he treated me—cutting me out of his life after making me think we had a future—made me feel worthless. Sure, he may have been going through his own shit, but the man I fell in love with would have handled me with care. He always had before. I would have done anything for him. I tried to fight for him. He just tossed me away.

With a sigh, I hastily tie my hair up in a messy bun. It doesn’t matter what I look like. I’m nothing special. The way Andrew and Benny treated me is proof of that. I’ve tried to tell Ford the same thing. He doesn’t listen. I can’t worry about it. I have to concentrate on Asher. My son is my only priority.Carter Ford might think we could be more to one another, but this trip is proof he's wrong. I’ve gone years without any of my past touching me. Now, it shows up right when I decide to take a chance. The Man Upstairs must be having a grand old time laughing at me at this point.

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