Page 101 of Foxy Filthy Omega

Soren’s tenderness had shocked me enough to realize just how fucking dangerous he was.

He had this quiet, gentle presence that was so at odds with just how big he was. His arms were the size of my thighs and I could see every single one of his abs thanks to how his shirts were always so tight they were practically painted on.

When he’d held my foot, the sheer size of his hands had made me feel tiny without feeling threatened. I liked being in the same room as him and I liked knowing he cared about me enough to worry about me even though he didn’t have to.

His presence may be unobtrusive but I was constantly aware of him. His one red eye seemed to glow at me through the strands of his black hair, always watching. The other eye was just as bewitching with its small splash of red and I kept finding myself staring at him.

Just having him around made it easier to breathe but I couldn’t let myself get used to this.

One day soon, he’d be reassigned and things would go back to the way they were before.

Even if that didn’t happen and Soren ended up becoming my new, permanent partner, he was my junior. I was responsible for him and it was my job to make sure he survived out in the field.

Let’s say I ignored that aspect…he was still a young alpha and nothing about my reaction to him was normal.

As the older alpha, I should be the one to take care of him, but I kept finding myself being taken care of.

Which I desperately wanted no matter how much I tried to deny it.

I scrubbed the scent of his pheromones and mine from my skin until it was almost as red as my hair before I was satisfied. If I couldn’t smell him anymore, maybe I’d stop being soweak.

Everything about Soren was like a balm to my ragged soul and now that I knew what it felt like to be held by him…

I threw the washcloth and it hit the wall with asmackbefore sliding down to land in a pitiful heap.

Why did I have to be like this? Why couldn’t I just be happy that I was a strong alpha from a world-renowned legacy pack? Both my fathers loved me with their whole hearts and my brother was the most loyal, kind person I’ve ever met.

I even had a powerful legacy alpha begging to be mine for over fifteen years.

But I kept isolating myself because I didn’t think I could be what they needed – I couldn’t be the perfect alpha no matter how hard I tried. I didn’twantto be the perfect alpha, but what else could I do?

My father needed an heir and I needed autonomy. How else was I going to get that other than being an alpha?

I’d left my pack to watch over Lucy. Now she didn’t need me anymore and I was being forced to confront just how much I’ve ignored my own problems in favor of hers.

Because if I didn’t ignore them, I’d lose my fucking mind.

The push and pull of what I wanted and what I needed was tearing me apart.

The only way I’ve survived this long was because I kept ignoring it, shoving it down so I could put on the performance of a lifetime.

I deserved a fucking Oscar.

Learning how to be the perfect alpha hadn’t been easy.

My instincts in this designation helped, but the draw to my omega designation was always there, fighting for my attention and it would remind me in the most unexpected ways that before I’d discovered what I was, I’d always wanted to be with Leo.

Then I met Lucy and became an alpha.

At the time, I didn’t know what I was, so I’d accepted my new designation with as much grace as I could despite the disappointment. I was good at pretending and this would be no different, plus I’d thought my pheromones and instincts would make it all easier.

I couldn’t have been more wrong.

Shutting off the shower, I grabbed the towel hanging just outside and wrapped it around me.

It was just my shitty luck that I’d find another alpha who was like catnip to my instincts even in my alpha designation.

The doctor my father had hired to research deltas had said it was very rare for those like me to switch back and forth as easily as I did which was why most of them went undetected. We were alphas or we were omegas. Not both.

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