Page 54 of These Jagged Edges

I clench my teeth. "Mama. I said I’mfine."

She walks into the office as I trail behind her. "No, Maddy you aren't." Her tone is final, and I know better than to argue with her.

"Mama—"

"No. You can't 'Mama' your way out of it this time." She sits down and waits for me to sit beside her. "So, Evie?"

Fucking Aunt Joe. Mama and Joe have been best friends since they were toddlers. They drifted apart after Mama married Harold, and for years, their bond seemed to fade into the background. But when Joe’s husband passed away, it was as if those lost years vanished in a heartbeat. They fell back into their old rhythm, picking up right where they left off. It’s clear how perfectly they balance each other—Joe’s the tough, resilient one, while Mama’s gentle and nurturing. Their opposing qualities seem to complement each other flawlessly, creating a harmony that has always been there, even beneath the surface of time and distance.

"Yes ma'am."

"I knew it would eventually happen between you two." Of course, she did. You can’t hide nothing from the woman.

Mama laughs softly. "Maddox Cole, you’re so much like your Daddy it's unreal. Always keeping things close, not willing to let anyone see your pain, but I'm going to tell you a little secret. We see it."

That’s why I stayed away from here for so long. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I didn’t deserve to be seen or to have my suffering acknowledged. I convinced myself that my presence was unwelcome and that my pain wasn’t worth recognizing. I thought that if I kept my distance, I wouldn’t burden anyone with my struggles or make them uncomfortable. It was easier to stay in the shadows, avoiding the discomfort of facing others while grappling with my own sense of unworthiness and the belief that my suffering was something I had to bear alone.

Mama takes my hand in hers letting out a shaky breath. "I want to tell you something I should have told you long before now. It isn't easy for me to talk about this, and the only person who knowsother than you is Joe." Her hands start to shake before grasping mine tighter.

"I was pregnant when your daddy passed away," she softly whispers.

The blood leaves my face. I instantly try thinking back to that time, but I was only three when he passed so I don't remember much. The only thing I remember is being woken to my mother's screams in the middle of the night after an officer informed her of my father's death. He was working nights at the steel mill and was on his way home when he nodded off at the wheel and hit an oncoming truck head-on. He died instantly.

"What happened?"

"Grief happened, Maddy. I stopped taking care of myself, barely took care of the three of you, most days I refused to leave bed. I was so consumed with anger and grief. I couldn't understand how life around me could just carry on when my world had just fallen apart," Mama says bitterly.

She takes a small unsteady breath clutching my hand. "Maddox, I didn't want to live in a world where your daddy didn't exist." Shame drips heavily from her every word.

I handed her a towel to dry her tears on. Mama closes her eyes. "It was like it happened yesterday. Joey leaned down in my face, put a hand on my belly, and asked me 'Maggie, is this really how you want to take care of the last piece of him?' I felt as if I was jerked out of the fog I had been trapped in, except it was too late. I lost the baby." Mama opens her eyes and all I see are my guilt-filled ones looking back at me.

"Mama that wasn't your fault."

"Wasn't it though? I chose to give up, and because of that choice I lost the baby."

"Mama, you lost your husband, nobody expected you to take that lightly. Grief doesn't come with an instruction manual." How in the hell can she blame herself for that?

"How is that any different than how you blame yourselffor Livvy?" Magnolia Wilder is loving, patient, and a walking definition of strength, but make no mistake the woman doesn’t sugarcoat shit. She isn’t afraid to hurt our feelings or set us straight.

“Mama, it was my fault.” The words scrape my throat like sandpaper, heavy with the weight of guilt that threatens to drown me. My voice falters, trembling as I fight back the tears burning behind my eyes. “I didn’t double-check her chest straps that night.”

Her gaze softens, eyes shimmering with unspoken pain, but her voice is steady, warm like an embrace. “Maddox, do you have any idea how many times I’ve buckled you or your brothers in and didn’t double-check those straps?” She leans closer, her hand resting on mine, grounding me as the world spins out of control. “You didn’t choose to drink and drive, sweetheart. You chose to be a good father, even while carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders.”

She pauses, her voice growing thick with emotion, yet filled with pride. “Olivia was blessed, so blessed to have someone like you as her daddy. And let me tell you something—only we know her time here was short. That precious baby, in the short time she spent with us, she knew nothing but love, safety, and perfection. That's all she ever knew.”

Her eyes glisten as she speaks, the love in her voice breaking through the grief that weighs heavy in the air. “That precious baby… all she ever felt was love—pure, unconditional, overwhelming love. In her little heart, she only knew the warmth of your arms, the safety of your voice, and the softness of your smile. She didn’t know pain, fear, or sadness. All she knew was the perfection of the life you gave her.” She squeezes my hand, her grip firm, as if willing me to believe every word. “In her short time with us, she lived a lifetime of happiness. That’s the gift you gave her, Maddox. That’s what she left this world knowing.”

Like she always did, Mama set my world right with just a few words. As much as it tears me apart to have lost her, I can’t denythe truth in what Mama said—Olivia lived a life full of love, no matter how brief it was. My sweet girl never knew anything but warmth and tenderness. She never felt pain, never faced fear. All she ever knew was the love I poured into her every moment, the kind of love that wrapped her in safety and made her little world perfect. And in the end, that’s all that matters.

"Maddy, I realized something after losing the baby. Your daddy didn’t leave me. I see him every time I look at Henny, hear Merc laugh, and feel him every time I'm near you.” A loving smile sits on my mother’s face. “Most of all, I learned that your daddy lived on because we lived on. I loved him so damn much; he hadn't truly left me." She smiles fondly to herself, no doubt thinking of him. "I won't lie to you, it was so hard to move life forward after losing both of them, but I knew your dad would have hated for me to shackle myself to such anguish for the rest of my life."

Mama wipes the tears from the corner of her eyes. "I'm begging you not to do that either." She takes my face in both her warm hands. "You lost your baby, and for that, I’m so sorry my sweet boy, but I can't lose another one of mine." I instantly wrap my arms around my mother and place a kiss on her head.

Despite losing her husband and child, Magnolia Wilder still carves out a way forward. She doesn’t need me to tell her that she was right but just needed to feel that she hadn't completely lost me either. And me? I just needed a hug from my damn Mama.

After one long hug,Mama insisted on helping tidy up the gym before sending me home. After making it home, I had every intention of showering and going next door, but I fell asleep the second my head hit the pillow.

So here I am at Joe's at 6:30 in the morning, pushing through the doors needing to see my girl. The moment I find her the heaviness from the emotional fuckstorm of yesterday vanishes.I find her standing at the office door and today her hair is down, hanging almost to her waist in loose waves, and the radiant smile she points my way makes my heart hammer in my chest like a jackhammer.

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