Page 25 of These Jagged Edges

"I know I can do it. Let's give it another try." Determinedly, I brush my hair out of my face, willing to focus back on the task at hand. Maddox moves behind me and waits for permission to proceed. I square my shoulders and nod my head. He gently wraps me in a bear hug and applies just enough pressure for me to know I'm okay but still need to work to get out of his hold. My heart beats like a racehorse, and I can feel panic slither up my spine like an unwanted visitor. My palms sweat as my breath deepens. I try to remind myself to take slow, deep breaths, but it feels like my chest is caving in. I need to calm down.

"Tell me five things you see," Maddox whispers against the shell of my ear.

I quickly adjust my eyes and focus on what's in front of me. "The wall, Mercy's name, the door, that stupid ass smiley face, and your arm." I don't feel the panic ebbing away like it did last time, and that causes me to panic more. The fear of not being able to control my anxiety is overwhelming and it only adds to my distress.

"Breathe, baby. It’s just you and me, Evie and Maddox."

As I exhale a shaky breath, I notice that his arms have loosened slightly. "Help me through this, please," I plead, and he immediately tightens his grip around me again.

"Tell me four things you can feel." The deep timber of his voice sounds strong and unwavering.

I close my eyes. What can I feel? I feel the ground under my feet, the heavy weight of Maddox on me, the steady beating of his heart, and the material of his shorts in my hand. The panic slithers slowly back down my spine, and I can feel myself breathe easier. My breathing matches Maddox's, and I find myself leaning entirely into him for support. It occurs to me that I don’t feel trapped against his heaviness; instead, I feel centered.

"Good girl. Now pull those claws out and fucking break this hold."

Good girl. Lord above, grant me strength because my panties weren't ready for that. Ignoring that he probably feels my hard nipples pressing into his arms, I quickly drop my body low. Maddox, of course, expects this, so I don’t move at all. I think back to what he taught me, tuck my chin to my chest, and throw my head back.

I didn't think I'd connect, but I do, causing his grip to loosen. Without thinking, I drop low, grab onto one of Maddox's legs with both hands and yank with all my might. I hear a loud thump and spin around to find Maddox on his back. I took him down! I feel a surge of energy and confidence, and I’m ready for anything. A proud look spreads across his face as I step forward to meet him on the mat.

"Oh, my goodness! I did it, Maddox!" I feel my face light up and smile so big my face could split in two. I put my hands on both sides of my head in disbelief. I did it! I got out of the hold and put him on his back. Wait, he didn't let me do that, did he?

"Maddox Cole, please tell me I did that, and it wasn't you letting me out of that hold."

He flashes me a proud smile. "After youtased me? Hell no."

Words can't describe how empowered I feel. I pushed through and accomplished something huge. Told my demons to fuck off and put this man twice my size on his back. The first tear falls, and Maddox is instantly on his feet.

"No fucking tears, woman," he growls.

"Their happy tears, I promise."

"Still, I don't like to see them," he grumbles, thumbing the tears away.

Holding his hands to my face, I feel their roughness and warmth. I want him to feel the magnitude of what this means to me. I’m so grateful for all that he’s done for me. I never could’ve done it without him. "Thank you."

Maddox swallows. "I didn't do anything. That was all you."

"Would you shut up and say you're welcome, you angry ass Clark Kent," I sass, dropping my hands from his.

Maddox leans his face closer to mine, his eyebrows raised. "Angry ass Clark Kent?"

"Well, yeah. You know, with the glasses, and curly hair, except you're grumpy as hell, and he isn't," I say breathlessly.

Maddox stares at my mouth, and I lick my lips. I could do one of two things. I could leave out of here regretting not kissing this man or grow a damn backbone and kiss him like I desperately want to. Looking at his full lips I swallow, he’s letting me run this show just like the night I tased him. He gives me control so effortlessly that it does something to my insides. It makes me feel secure, safe, and powerful— all at the same time. The horny bitch in my panties doesn't mind it either.

Standing on my tip toes, I whisper in his ear, "You could kiss me for being a good girl."

"Last time we were in this situation, it resulted in one of us getting tased." His deep voice drops an octave deeper going straight to my clit.

"Better make it memorable then," I purr running my fingers through his hair while tugging his lips to mine. Unlike thelast time, I feel no fears or prickles of the past trying to slide in. I feel alive, ignited, and desired.

I might be in control, but make no mistake, Maddox Wilder devours me. I lick the scar across his mouth, earning me the most delicious toe-curling moan I've ever heard. Pulling back, I place my forehead against his, each of us breathing heavily. My hands are still gripping his corded arms tightly. I let go, feeling a little ashamed for my forward behavior.

"That was hot as hell. Do it again.”

I hadone hot and heavy kiss, and life became hectic. The other waitress Joe hired officially flaked, which left us one short on rotation, so we’re all working crazy ass schedules between the other waitress, Joe, and myself. Joe kept apologizing, but after all she's done for the boys and me, pulling extra weight is nothing.

The only time I’d seen Maddox was in passing or when he came in for his coffee. I hadn't had time for our sessions, and I had to ask Lou and Vic to help with getting the boys to and from school. I dropped them off with Vic this morning when my phone dinged.

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