Page 24 of These Jagged Edges

She shakes her head. "I'm the one that helps carry the heavy shit."

"We both do, heifer."

We stare each other down until she realizes I'm not letting up this time. A silent battle of wills before she whispers a quiet "shit." She folds the rest of the towels in the basket before crossing her legs and turning towards me on the couch.

"I had the biggest crush on Henry growing up. He was older than me and handsome. You know that small-town crush every girl has, and she thinks she will marry and have five kids with." I had no idea, but I didn't tell her that.

"I didn't think he knew I existed. Then Mama ran off, and I was far too caught up in my anger to realize he'd noticed me, or maybe he just felt sorry for me. One day I was walking home from school and saw him walking behind me. He didn't speak a word to me, but every day after that, he walked with me."

I get us a beer when I see her twisting her fingers in her lap. I tap her knee and smile at her when she says thank you.

"Anyway, one day, I was angry. Angry that my mama left, mad that I had to help raise Soph and couldn't be an ordinary teenage girl going and doing whatever normal girls did. I turned and screamed at him to stop following me. He just looked at me and said, "No."

She starts laughing, and I join her. "That whole time, not a word, and then just ‘no’?"

"Yep. After that, Henry walked me to the door every day, and if Daddy had to work late, he sat in the yard with his brothers,watching the house. He'd walk me to classes at school, and we slowly became friends.” The way she says friends makes my heart ache. She clear’s her throat before continuing, “Anyways one day I didn't take my usual way and ended up at the cemetery, just needing a moment to be a fucking angry fifteen year old kid. I sat at some random grave crying when I heard someone yelling. I looked up and saw Henry stomping my way, yelling my name. Being the vibrant flower I am, I yelled at him to shut up because the dead were resting. He ignored me, not giving a damn that I needed some time alone, sat beside me, and pulled me in his lap while I lost it."

Misty-eyed, she takes a long pull on her beer, and I hold her hand.

"We became inseparable after that. The night after he graduated, I lost my virginity to him. Then he went off to the police academy. We talked on occasion, but I was trying to keep us afloat back home. I turned eighteen and had three months until graduation when I walked in to find Daddy in his recliner."

"Oh, Lou."

"I thought he was asleep, Evie. I called for him to wake up and started making dinner when I realized something wasn't right. The coroner said a massive heart attack, but I think his broken heart just had enough."

I can’t imagine losing the two people who I love the most. My parents have never wanted me, and I know I don’t have the love for my mother that Lou felt for both of her parents. Lou furiously wipes the tears from her face.

"Good old Henry came back for Daddy's funeral, of course. Fucked me in my bathroom and afterward told me he couldn't believe he fucked up like this and left. The rest is history."

I get the nagging feeling it wasn't history and know if I were in this situation, she would have no problem calling me on my shit. So, like any good friend, I call her on hers.

"History, my ass."

"Evie, I can't talk about the rest right now."

I think about the one person she'd sacrifice everything for, and I know deep in my bones it has something to do with Sophie. I didn't know Henry as a kid, but I know him as a man now, and the man I know would rather cut his own arm off than intentionally hurt Lou. I don't tell her any of that. I shut up and cuddle my friend, providing the one thing she's been for me since knowing her: a soft place to land.

Chapter Ten

EVIE

It'sthe boy's first year of basketball, and we've been busy, between practices two nights a week followed by games every Saturday. Seriously, what do six year olds need to practice two nights a week for? It looks more like a game of herding chickens with basketballs than anything else, but they love it, and that's good enough for me.

Lou got us matching shirts with the boy's name on the back. She got mine a size smaller than I'd usually wear, putting all my curves on display, and when I complained she just laughed. During their first game, I tugged at the damn shirt until she reached over, slapped my hands, and scolded me like a child.

After the taser incident, Vic showed up the next day with the brightest smile I'd ever seen on him and a beer to celebrate me finally using the damn thing. He laughed so hard that tears came down his face as I retold the story and then about the gift I received the following day. Vic just smiled and said he respected that.

This Monday, Maddox's new focus is teaching me how to break holds and I’m exhausted. The past hour, Maddox has beentrying to teach me how to break free when someone grabs you from behind, but the second he wraps his arms around me immobilizing my arms, I damn near have a panic attack. Every time he releases me, he takes a step back and gives me space. I feel powerless and angry, and let him know that.

"Trauma doesn't work like that."

"I know that Maddox. I'm not stupid," I snap.

"Evie."

"I’m sorry Maddox. It's all here, and I know it," I say, tapping my head. "Plus, it's you. I know you won't hurt me."

The smile on his lips makes me struggle to breathe. Although he’s handsome without smiling, I find it difficult to breathe as he does. His smile is captivating and entrancing, making it hard for me to focus on anything else. It’s as if I’m under a spell, and can’t look away. Maddox Wilder is a hazard to my damn system every time he smiles.

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