I don’t even have time to process that before Mercy cuts in.
"Well then, say what you mean next time, Mad." Mercy steps through a side door and gives his brother a loaded look before turning his gaze to me. "Evie, I already told you what would happen if we were neighbors and honey, there isn't enough sugar in the next two counties for me to show you how much I'd appreciate your curves.”
Mercy's words take me back, and I can hear Trent as if he was standing in the room with us."You think somebody could ever appreciate this fat ass body? Petal, you should appreciate the fact that I have the stomach to fuck you."
I wouldn't say I liked this part. The phantom triggers are what I call them. The seemingly ordinary things people can say or dotransform that me into a vile memory. Sometimes it's not even a memory; it's as if Trent's standing beside me, whispering in my ear, terrifying me. But I’m so damn tired of living with this fear and building my life around it. Constantly look over my shoulder and on edge. I want to be strong enough to conquer this fear and slay these demons that hang around feeding off me. I want to be strong enough to protect my boys. They’re everything to me.
"No damn crying woman," Maddox barks softly flexing his hands at his sides.
Make no mistake about it, the man is intimidating, but I also feel a sense of security and peace whenever I looked into his eyes. It’s strange for someone you hardly know to make you feel so much. Half the time, I want to run far, far away, and the other half of the time, I want to wrap myself up in those feelings and stay put.
"Tears of joy, Big Guy," I tell him, slipping my mask back into place.
Those brilliant green eyes bore into me not believing me for a damn second. "Change of plans. You'll train with me on Mondays."
I instantly snap my gaze to Mercy standing in the doorway with an amused expression on his face. He meets my raised eyebrows with a shrug. Great, he's going to be no help. "That's okay! I'm sure you have something else to do, and Mercy won't mind. Right, Mercy?"
"Eves, I had this thing with the shop come up, and I won't be available Mondays or Thursdays," he says, giving me that signature crooked grin. Sensing my panic he adds, "Evie, you're in good hands with Maddox, okay?"
Well, hell. I could argue with the mountain in front of me, but just this once, I'm choosing not to. Who better to teach me to defend myself and kick ass?
I take a deep breath and square my shoulders. "What time?"
"Just like that?" Maddox looks at me taken back.
"Well, yeah."
He crosses his arms over his broad chest. "No attitude? Or a sassy ass remark? No telling me to go fuck myself?"
I shake my head. The man is staring at me like he isn’t quite sure he believes me.
"Listen, Maddox. I have things I'm trying to unpack in my life, and just this once, I'm going to trust my gut when it tells me to trust you with this. You're badass, and you know it. You'll see plenty of attitude and sass when you start stomping around like an angry baby hippo pissing me off because we both know you will."
Mercy's laughter fills the room. "Man! I love how that little five-foot-nothing can serve your ass to you on a platter and not break a sweat."
I give Mercy a small smile. "I'm five two and sweat plenty, I'll have you know." The man may be a shameless flirt, but he always seems to know when to help break the tension because Maddox Wilder damn sure makes me sweat.
It would be easier if it was Mercy, whom I have this intense attraction to, with his boyish charm and lopsided grin. There’s zero doubt the man would make me come as much as he made me laugh. Whoever landed Mercy Wilder was one lucky bitch.
After signing a few waivers, I head home. The weight that held me down, shifted a little as if knowing I was gearing up ready to be good and fucking rid of it.
Dressed in black bicycle shorts,a cropped yoga tank with built-in support for the girls, and an oversized T-shirt, I look at my reflection while putting my hair into two French braids. I still don’t recognize the woman looking back at me, but I want to. I want to break free and discover who I am, unburdened by the chains that tie me to the hollow shell I used to be.
Making sure one last time my shorts are long enough to coverthe scars marring my inner thighs. I head off to meet Maddox at his gym. I had to rearrange my schedule on Mondays, but once I told Joe what I was doing, she gave me Monday off, insisting I "work too damn much anyways." I choose to work so much, it helps keep my mind busy, but just this once, I didn't argue with her. Joey’s right, it doesn’t hurt to do one thing for me.
Opening the door, I step into the lobby. Not seeing Maddox, I decide to sit and wait. There isn’t a receptionist behind the black marble counter; I wonder if he has hired anyone. I can’t picture anyone being able to work for the grump. He has the mannerisms of a cactus.
"You showed."
Looking up, I see a shirtless, sweaty Maddox standing at the door leading into the gym. How did I not notice the scars on his right side the other night? It looks like he wrestled with a broken window with all the jagged lines running up and down his side. They are raised and angry, with some being more defined than others. "Evie." His large hand closes over mine on his side. I didn't even realize I had stood up, let alone walked over, and begun caressing the man. Horrified, I quickly jerk my hand away and apologize, unable to look at his face.
"Look at me." His rough voice sounds like it's battling between barking at me and trying to be gentle. His hands are limp at his sides, and a part of me knows he's trying to keep his body neutral and non-threatening, so I raise my gaze and look at the scar on his lips. He dips his head causing us to lock eyes.
His angry gaze demands I ask him what happened.
"W-what happened?"
"The result of pulling my dead daughter out of a car window after being hit by a drunk driver," he says quietly.