Page 12 of These Jagged Edges

EVIE

"He did what!"Lou shrills into the phone.

"Helped watch the boys and look after me until my fever broke. No biggie," I say, hoping my nonchalant tone will deter the conversation.

"I’ve known that big bastard for most of my life. Trust me, it’s a biggie," Lou exaggerates.

"Well, I didn't have much choice, besides Mercy was here as well. Maddox hung around, quietly blending in the shadows until Mercy offered to help bathe me. Then he stormed out, slamming the door behind him," I tell her while attempting to plate Vic some leftover meatloaf.

Mercy was only trying to make me feel better. He could tell how uncomfortable I was with waking from my fever dream to realize it was no damn dream. I told Maddox a quick thank you before checking on the boys and taking a quick shower. I’m not about to tell her Maddox carried me to bed or made sure I took medicine because I’m still not sure how I feelabout it. He may have been gruff, but the man carried me like precious cargo, confusing the hell out of me.

"Besides Lou, my boys were scared. I hate I did that to them," I say softly.

"Shit, I'm sorry, Eves but Sophie?—"

"No, don't do that. Nobody knew I'd get sick. Plus, it worked itself out."

After wrapping up the leftovers, I reassure Lou I'm okay for the twentieth time before hanging up. Picking up the plate, I head to Vic's to get the boys and drop Vic's lunch for tomorrow. I catch wind of Vic's conversation with the boys when I open the door.

"Mama has nightmares too. Did she fight in a war like you?'

"For her, it was war," Vic tells my son gently.

I freeze, unable to move, not wanting to hear their conversation but also unable to walk any further.

"Your mama is brave, but sometimes even the bravest people need help."

"That's why we sleep with her when we hear her crying, to help her be extra brave," I hear Bash's voice ringing with pride. I had no idea that my boys knew about my nightmares, but I'm not surprised, they're observant as hell.

Pushing through the pain eating away at my heart, I walk on in with a smile plastered on my face. "Alright, you two, tell Vic bye. We need to head home and get the dirt washed off your faces before bed."

They each take turns wrapping Vic in a hug before heading out the door. Vic gives me a knowing look. "It's not polite to eavesdrop, woman."

Nothing gets past Vic. "I wasn't."

Vic looks at me thoughtfully. "You're a fucking fighter, Evie. Acting as anything else spits on those who fought like hell and didn't make it. Stop living behind that fear and grab life by the balls!"

That old demon fear laughs at me, which pissesme off. I'm sick of people telling me how transparent I am. I feel like all I've fought like hell to keep hidden has been dragged out for people to pick apart at auction.

"I'll get right on that, Vic! I'll box my demons up, send them on their merry way, and tell the devil who's looking for me he can stop because I'm too busy embracing life now," I spit out sarcastically.

I spin on my heel and head for the door. "Wait a minute!" he calls after me.

"Night, Victor. Love you," I call over my shoulder as I close the door and head home. I’m not upset with him, I’m more upset with myself than anything because he’s right, and because Vic loves me, he told me just like it is, and to hell with my feelings.

The problem is I don’t know how to embrace life. How do you embrace life without the fear of the other shoes dropping? In my case, the other shoe is evil fucking personified, and if he ever finds me, I’ll end up far worse than being his human punching bag.

"You let another man touch you? You fucking enjoyed it, didn't you," he snarls, sharply jerking my face upwards, forcing me to look at him.

"Petal, why do you make me like this?" He squeezes my face tighter as if trying to crush it. I hate that damn name.

A whimper escapes before I can stop it.

Loosening his grip on my face, he licks the tear up that slides down my face. "He wanted you, and you let him put his filthy hands all over you, inside you.”

"He's a gynecologist, Trent. I had to have a checkup after losing the baby," I whisper.

Everything suddenly goes black.

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