Page 77 of These Jagged Edges

"Honey, she needs to rest," Mama tells Lou softly. "Evie's a fighter, she'll pull through."

Damn straight she will.

Shehasto.

"Evie, please wake the hell up,"Lou pleads.

I stand outside Evie’s hospital room, bracing myself against the wall as I listen to Lou’s desperate pleas inside. I want to share in her pain and agony, but I’m numb, feeling detached from the reality ofit all. The doctors took Evie out of the medically induced coma three days ago, but she hasn’t moved since. The doctor says her mind is still mending from the trauma, and she’ll wake when she’s ready. But with every passing hour, my hope dwindles, slipping further away like sand through my fingers.

"If you wake up, I'll tell you why I hate Henry Wilder. Scouts honor." Now that almost makes me smile. Everyone knows Lou has been head over heels for my brother since she was a kid, the only one not to get the memo is her.

Sniffling fills the room, and I know Lou is on the verge of losing it. "I can't handle the emo duo without you! Plus, you trusted me to take care of Bash and Charlie! Why on earth would you do that? They need their mama, not me. Wake up! Please wake up!"

Deciding enough is enough I stalk in to wrangle the pale blonde. Inside I find Lou curled up beside Evie, her hand wrapped tightly around Evie's reminding me so much of the little girl with a tear-stained face who showed up at our door clutching her baby sister's hand because they couldn't find their mama. I clear my throat and sad eyes find mine. "She'll wake up right, Maddy?"

I don't have the strength to give her false hope, so I just sit quietly beside Evie's bed. I don't know how much time passes with us sitting there while Lou’s soft cries fill the space. A knock pulls me from my stupor and my brother walks in. Looking from one woman to the other he gives me a grim smile.

"Come on Lou, let's get some food in you." Henry walks up and puts a gentle hand on her arm.

Lou’s smile is a hollow echo, the kind that speaks of a heart too weary to hope anymore. "She can't be another one to abandon me here." My brother falters at her sad confession. A silent exchange takes place between them, and I finally notice my brother looks at Lou the way I look at Evie. Like she's the embodiment of every desperate prayer he’s ever whispered, and the source of every torment that keeps him awake at night. I can see the want, need,desperation, and longing clear as a day on my brother’s face as he gazes down at her.

A fierce look of resolve crosses his face. "Louisiana, she will wake up! Now, are we going to sit here and cry about shit that isn't going to happen? Or are you going to get that perk ass up, get fed, and tell those boys their mama will make it? The choice is yours, Wildflower."

Lou flies out of bed ready to throttle my brother. He always has known just what she needs and how to give it to her. "Firstly, fuck you. Have you no compassion? Secondly, I will get fed and go to those boys because they need me as much as I need them." Lou pauses and takes a deep breath. "Leave that nickname on this cold tile floor, like you left everything else." Her voice echoes with heartbreak. Not giving my brother time to answer, she's out the door.

Henry swallows. "Hurting you is the last thing I ever wanted." He says it so low I almost miss it. My brother turns to me, cracks beginning to show beneath his surface, but I don't have it in me to read too much into it. Maybe that makes me a shitty brother, maybe he doesn't need me pointing out shit he isn't ready to face.

After a quick promise to call when she wakes up, Henry softly closes the door leaving me alone. There was a time in my life when I sought solitude, which seems foreign to me now. She's brought so much life back to mine that I find the silence deafening. Taking her small hand in mine, I watch her chest rise and fall as I fall into a restless sleep.

"Maddox," someone shakes me, "Come on, wake up." Startled I jump up, checking Evie over to see if she’s finally woken up. Seeing no sign of her waking, I caress her cheek.

"She's fine boy."

Vic stands there looking worse for wear but hell we all do. "The boys?" I ask.

Vic gives a tired look. "As to be expected. They keep asking for you."

In a panic, I struggle to breathe. “I-I can’t,” I stammer. “I can’t,Vic.” I feel too fragile to face them. Their entire world has been turned upside down, and I’m barely keeping it together. How can I offer them any solace when their mother is lying here, barely holding on?

"I think you need them more than you realize," Vic pats my back, "They don't need you to be strong. They just need you."

Vic looks at Evie and I can see it. He needs to be here just as much as I do. The cranky bastard loves her like she’s his own child, and I know he isn’t handling it well. I think back to Livvy and how I wished for any extra time with her. Time to hold her little hand or kiss her chubby cheeks. I take a deep breath.

"Promise me—" The look Vic gives me stops my words. He'll call if something happens. There’s no need for me to even ask. With a gentle kiss and an I love you I force myself to walk to the door. I look over my shoulder before leaving and see the old man taking a seat and grasping her hand as his whole body gently shakes.

"Well, baby girl, seems trouble came and found you." His voice cracks as I gently close the door.

It doesn’t take long before I pull up into her driveway, sitting there, wracked with guilt. I’ve let her down—completely. I failed to protect her. She was scared, and I brushed it off, convinced it was nothing. I should never have taken her word for it. She should never have gone back to the café alone. I should’ve been more vigilant, and more insistent. This is all my fault.

The sound of my name yanks me from my spiraling thoughts. Little Charlie stands on the porch, his tiny frame shaking with sobs. The boy who fiercely defends his mother and barely acknowledges anyone else now reaches out to me with a desperate plea. Without a second thought, I rush out of the car and pull him into my arms, cradling his small, trembling body against me.

"My Mama!" he cries in hysterics.

"I know Charlie, I know," I tell him, squeezing him tighter astears stream down my own face. I feel another body wrap around my leg, and I realize how wrong I had been. I need this, need them.

"She'll wake up, won't she Maddox?" Charlie's question makes me stop short. We stand on that porch embracing until Lou clears her throat and calls us in to help make dinner. Not because we’re hungry, but because we need something to keep us busy.

"Fuck yeah, she will kiddo," Lou tells him as she washes the veggies.

---