Page 45 of These Jagged Edges

"She's beautiful," I tell him softly as I trace my fingeralong the picture. I push my hair behind my ear and find him locked on my every move. Maddox hums in agreement.

"Looks like the boys have visited," I say, gesturing toward their toys.

"Charlie came by last week and called me out for well…" he says slowly. "He’s been back every day since then."

"I see." I know he’s been coming over, he always asks for permission no matter where he goes, unlike his brother. Maddox is a good man, and I couldn't bring myself to take the boys away from him. I refused to rip another thing from his life no matter how strained things were between us.

There’s discomfort surrounding us. I don't like this. I'm used to comfortable silence filled with affection. Not this, it makes me want to leave. Seeing as I don’t have the best track record with noticing when the universe shows me red flags, I take it as a sign this wasn't a good idea. Without meeting his eye, I say, "I'm going to go."

"No ma'am. You've been sitting out there for two days staring at my house driving me up a damn wall. Say what's on your mind."

I shift my weight from foot to foot. He won’t force me to stay, will he?

"I'm not going to force you to stay. But something is on your mind. I've sat here for two days watching you, waiting for you to come over. It took everything in me not to storm over there, throw you over my shoulder, and bury my tongue in you until you talked to me."

I swallow and take a deep breath. "That's not the answer to every problem." I fist the bottom of my shirt and twist. "I never asked you if you were okay and it's been bothering me."

A large hand grasps both of mine, stopping my nervous movement, the flinch is unexpected, but Maddox makes no move to take his hands from mine. I take a deep breath and let the smell of pine and fresh laundry surround me, allowing me to relax. He softly rubs his thumb on my hand before letting it go.

"Now, to answer your question, fuck no, I'm not okay?—"

"I mean that day at the gym, you had Livvy's picture out," I say cutting him off, not ready for that part of the conversation just yet.

Maddox goes quiet for so long that I don't think he'll answer. Always slamming a wall up when someone gets too close. "Okay, Big Guy." Head held high, I walk past him making sure not to touch him as I head for the door.

"It was Livvy's birthday." Maddox drops heavily onto the couch, putting his head between his hands fisting his hair.

My hand falls from the door handle. "What did you do to celebrate?"

Maddox scoffs, "Celebrate?"

"Yes, Maddox. What did you do to celebrate her birthday?"

"I don't fucking celebrate my dead daughter's birthday, Evie. I drink the day away until I get black-out drunk.” His eyes have turned to slits as he looks at me from the corner of his eye.

"And tell me, how'd that work out for you?" I snap not backing down.

Maddox jerks his head up and sears me to the spot. His big body shifts restlessly beneath its weight, and I know I struck a nerve.

"I'm telling you this as your friend, find a better way to honor your daughter's memory. Don't you think a precious life deserves something more than stale whiskey and bitterness?"

His gaze is so intense and unwavering that I start to question whether he has heard me at all. The silence grows heavy, stretching out until he finally breaks it.

When Maddox speaks, his tone is so deep and rich that it sends a shiver through me, leaving goosebumps on my arms as his words reverberate in the stillness. "Woman, call me your damnfriendagain and I'm pinning you to the wall and eating the word friend out of your fucking vocabulary.”

Not a threat, a promise.

A delicious promise.

"Just remember, I'm a big boy, and baby, big boys have big appetites." Maddox rises to his full height and stalks toward me like a predator stalking its prey. I quickly grab the door handle and hurry to make my escape when a large hand slams it closed blocking my escape.

Maddox runs his nose along my neck. "You're right. I need to honor my baby and celebrate her birthday because she was the most precious thing in my life, but I don't fucking know how to because I don’t feel like Ideserveto celebrate her life."

"You have to find the light even in the darkest of places. I'm not going to pretend to understand how you feel Maddox, but I do know how easy it is to stay in the comfort of that darkness."

Maddox pulls me closer, resting his head gently on the back of my neck. In a voice tinged with sorrow, he whispers, "What if that darkness is all I've ever known?"

Oh, you big sad boy.

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