Page 40 of These Jagged Edges

Maddox's cockisn’t a magic wand that instantly healed me fixing the damage within. A part of me feels lighter than I have in years, but it isn’t from how he can play my body like a fine-tuned instrument, wringing my body of pleasure again and again. It’s the trust he shows me in letting me be in control, and I feel a small piece of myself has been restored, something deep down has snapped back into place.

How had I not noticed the subtle changes? When was the first time he touched me, and I didn't flinch away? When did my heart decide to accept the beautiful destruction that is Maddox Wilder?

"Are you struggling with the fact you climbed that man like a tree or are you trying to determine how you let him close enough to shake your world up?" Tired eyes and a warm smile greet me across the counter.

"I swore off all men, Joe."

Joe chuckles into her coffee cup before giving me an amused look. "God laughed at that shit too, didn't he?"

"Joe," I groan, putting my head in my hands.

"Listen to me, Evie." Joe sets her coffee cup down and cups my face in her wrinkled hands. "The right kind of love will fuck your world up in the best way. It will fill you up completely, but it will never drown or own you. You're not afraid of Maddox anymore because he's earned your trust, and your heart accepted him because deep down, you know he's the half that makes you whole. It won't be easy. I got a feelin' you two might give Lou and Henny a run for their money, but I promise you it's worth it. Every argument, orgasm, and tear. Is so damn worth it."

"Let's not talk about orgasms Joe, please." Joey’s the closest thing I have to a mother and every time she talks about sex I cringe.

"Don't be such a square. You remind me of my dead husband. I could say the word coochie and he'd have a fit."

"Come on, Joe!"

"Come on, hell! What feels good when you are young still feels good when you’re old, Evie. Matter of fact, I orgasm better now than I ever did when I was your age. Experienced coochie and all that jazz." She winks at me.

I can’t look Joe in the face without laughing as we knock out the breakfast rush, but I know she’s right Maddox has shaken my world up in the best way.

As I sit on the back porch that night enjoying the cool night air, I can’t help but reflect on these past few months with a smile on my face. Life doesn’t seem bleak as hell anymore, and I don’t feel as diluted down by my past as I had before Maddox came into our lives. I feel stronger and more alive than I ever have. It isn’t just Maddox who has pushed me through wall after wall in creating this new outlook on myself and life. Fear only has the power I give it, and I’m done feeding it. I’m not sure what the future holds but I know I will take it in stride with my chin held high.

Chapter Sixteen

EVIE

Gone isthe cool winter air and now has come the dreaded heat. The South in the summer is no joke. It's as if we skipped spring completely and are thrown directly into the summer. It’s a wicked wet heat that clings to your skin long after you've cooled off. As if you've sat your ass in front of the open oven door except this shit lasts for three months.

The past few months have been a whirlwind. The boys have finished basketball and baseball season is getting ready to start, Mercy has officially opened Wilder Garage, and Maddox seems to be here often. Everything hasn't been sunshine and rainbows. The man is still grumpy and stoic, pissing me off more often than not. Take yesterday for example.

"Let me pay, Evie." Maddox stands in the middle of the cereal aisle with Charlie sitting on his broad shoulders reading a book while Sebastian rides in the buggy I’m pushing. Maddox pushes his glasses up his nose as he grabs four boxes of pop tarts. Who the hell needs four boxes of pop tarts?

"No! I’m not taking your money, Maddox Cole!" I hiss up at him.

"Uh oh, she used your middle name Mad," Sebastian tells him wide-eyed.

Maddox, not giving one damn, invades my personal space. "I brought it up and they want to play." He’s crazy if he thinks for one second I’m letting him pay for Charlie and Bash to play baseball. I’m a strong independent woman damn him! I don’t need him paying for my children to play baseball.

"No—"

"Too late, it's paid for." He tenderly pushes my hair behind my ear and kisses me. "I was asking to be nice." With that the smug fuck winks at me.

"If you didn't have precious cargo up there," I point to Charlie who's completely absorbed in his book, "I would trip your ass and leave you here." Maddox laughs and gives me a smirk. I grab the buggy and start pushing. "And don't you even think about buying my groceries!”

Maddox bought my damn groceries.

The relationship that’s blossomed between Maddox and the boys has been the most surprising. Wherever Maddox goes, his two shadows are right behind him. I asked Maddox if it was hard being around them and he told me no. While they could never replace Livvy, he doesn’t hurt as much when they are around, they help fill that void just slightly. Though I know my boys will never be able to replace what he lost, I find peace in knowing they’re able to comfort him in some way.

We've still been continuing self-defense lessons, while they usually end with me face-down ass up and Maddox's face buried in my soaking center. I don't complain. Today, however, Maddox doesn't greet me at the door.

Weird.

He always waits for me at the door. I walk to the back of the gym and call out his name.

"Maddox?"

---