Page 39 of These Jagged Edges

"My mama's pecan bars, and watching you dance around the kitchen when you cook. My turn, Pretty Girl. Tell me about your dreams for your future.”

Dreams? Nobody has ever asked me my dreams.

“You’ll think it’s silly.”

The circling stops and he rolls me over to face him. “I would never. Try me.”

I trace all the hard lines of his chest and up the column of his throat. "I dream of having a place like Joe’s, where everyone who steps through the door feels like family,” I pause and quietly tell him the dream I held dearest to me, the one I felt I had already failed. “ More than anything, I want to give my boys a safe, happy life, a place they can always call home."

Maddox gently traces the side of my face. “That’s not silly.”

I hum my response and rest my head on his chest while he traces the freckles on my arm. Then I ask the question that has been on my mind for a while now. "What happened to your ex-wife?"

Maddox's body becomes rigid.

"I'm sorry, you don't have to answer that," I say softly.

"Eves…" I feel him take a deep breath and he begins playing with my hair. "Allison had a habit of loving drugs more than being a wife or mother. After I threw her out, she took anything she could pawn for a score and left. I haven't seen her since."

"You have no idea where she is?" I ask as I find myself worrying about a woman I've never met.

"Fuck no."

My heart breaks. I understand his anger, but she also lost a child and herself along the way.

"After Livvy was born, she struggled with postpartum issues. The doctor prescribed her some meds and from there, her addiction began." I wiggle, needing to look at his handsome face. He takes his heavy leg from mine, and I turn in his arms and stroke his face.

"I would come home from the gym and Livvy would be screaming and crying in her crib and Allison would just sit there and say, 'Shut her up'." His big body shudders and squeezes me tighter to him. "After a lot of urging, I finally convinced her to go back to the doctor and that's when she got diagnosed with postpartum depression. It got better for a bit, but she struggled to bond with Liv. Told me it was my fault because she preferred me."

"Maddox, you know that's not true right?"

He gives me a grim smile. "I do, but every time she said it, I felt like I had done something wrong because she was Liv's mother, and they should have had the bond we did."

"That's not always the case. Maybe, Allison may have felt that way because you were able to be there in a way she wasn't able to be."

He places a tender kiss on my temple. "Maybe Pretty Girl, maybe."

"One afternoon I got a call at the gym from one of our neighbors. Allison had been playing outside with Livvy and the next second Allison was gone, and Livvy was alone in the yard. Ourneighbors picked her up and called me. I got home and Allison was laid beside the bed with a belt tied on her arm and a needle in her hand."

His grasp on my thigh tightens.

"What did you do?" I ask in a small voice. My heart ached for him.

"I packed her a bag and put her the fuck out," he grates out as his grasp on my thigh becomes painful.

"Ouch!"

Maddox instantly pulls his hand away, his eyes wide with concern. "I?—"

I place his hand back on my thigh and give him a tender kiss. "It's okay. I'm not made of glass Maddox, I won't break." I take a page from him and grasp his strong jaw in my hand, looking deep into his green eyes. "But maybe one day you'll look for Allison, because one day that big heart you hide from everyone," I brush my fingers over his racing heart, "Won't allow you to blame her or yourself anymore and then you'll realize no matter what had happened between you or how deep into addiction she was, Allison lost her baby too, Maddox."

"Told you you’re sunshine, fucking sunshine," he growls before kissing me deeply.

Sleep comes easier than I expected and it's not until Maddox wakes me with his tongue buried deep between my legs that I realize I slept through the whole night. Attempting to wiggle away, Maddox yanks me back to his mouth and grumbles something about not disrupting his breakfast again. Only Maddox would associate eating my pussy with breakfast and I can't help but throw my head back and laugh.

Maddox stops and looks up at me intently. "Fuck, I love...to hear you laugh."

I swallow as my chest blooms with emotion. Maddox doesn't love me....right?

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