Page 10 of All of Me

Counting down the minutes. Only 245 to go. Give my girls a kiss for me.

The ride home feels lighter somehow, like the weight of the day has shifted just enough for me to breathe easier. Ruby’s soft breaths fill the quiet car, a gentle reminder of the miracle she is. For a moment, the endless list of things I need to do fades into the background.

I’m exhausted—my body still aches, and the sleepless nights have left a permanent haze in my mind—but beneath all of that is something else. Gratitude. Gratitude for Ruby, for Owen, for the way he’s stepped into this role so effortlessly, even when I know it hasn’t been easy for him. Gratitude for the family we’re building, piece by imperfect piece.

I pull into the driveway. The house feels warmer somehow, more like a home than it ever has. I know that when Owen walks through the door tonight, with that tired but loving look in his eyes, I’ll fall in love with him all over again. Not because of the grand gestures, but because of the little things—the way he looks at me like I’m his entire world, the way he always knows what I need before I have to ask, the way he’s never once made me feel like I’m doing this alone.

I let out a slow breath as I unbuckle Ruby from her carseat. “We’ve got a pretty great guy, you know,” I whisper, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

Stepping inside, the quiet of the house greets me, but it doesn’t feel lonely. It feels full—of love, of memories yet to be made, of the life I didn’t think I’d ever get to have. I settle Ruby into her bassinet and begin the slow rhythm of folding laundry and tidying up. My heart hums with a quiet, steady joy because no matter how hard some days feel, I know I have everything I need.

four

FIX YOU - COLDPLAY

OWEN - NOVEMBER 11, 2013

The sound of hissing steam and clanging metal echoes through the shop, but it’s not enough to drown out the noise in my head. I wipe the sweat from my forehead with the back of my glove, staring at the pipe in front of me. My mind is a million miles away.

I can’t stop thinking about Callie. She’s been… different. It’s not just that she’s tired—of course she’s tired. We’re both running on fumes with a newborn in the house. But this feels like something deeper.

“Owen!” Will’s voice cuts through the din, pulling me back to reality. He’s standing a few feet away, a wrench in one hand and a curious look on his face. “You good, man?”

I blink at him, realizing I’ve been holding the same piece of pipe for way too long. “Yeah, sorry. Just distracted.”

“Distracted, huh?” He steps closer, setting the wrench on the workbench. “You’ve been off all morning. What’s going on?”

I hesitate, my fingers tightening around the pipe. Will’s my best friend, and we’ve talked about a lot over the years—work, life, co-parenting struggles—but this feels different. It feels… heavier.

“Come on,” Will presses, his tone softer now. “It’s me. Talk to me.”

I let out a long breath, setting the pipe down. “It’s Callie,” I admit.

Will crosses his arms, leaning against the bench. “What about her?”

“She’s been… I don’t know. Different. Quiet. Like she’s not really there, you know?” I shake my head, frustration creeping into my voice. “I’ve been trying to figure out if it’s just the exhaustion or if there’s something else going on, but I can’t shake the feeling that it’s something more.”

Will nods slowly, his expression thoughtful. “Have you talked to her about it?”

“Not really,” I admit, running a hand through my hair. “I’ve tried, but she keeps saying she’s fine. And I want to believe her, but… I don’t know, man. It’s like she’s pulling away from me, and I don’t know how to stop it.”

Will studies me for a moment, then says, “You’re scared.”

The words hit harder than I expect, and I feel my chest tighten. “Yeah,” I admit quietly. “I’m scared. I’ve never felt like this before. Like I might lose her.”

“You’re not going to lose her,” Will says firmly.

“You don’t know that,” I snap, the words harsher than I intend. I take a step back, leaning against the wall and rubbing my face with both hands. “Sorry. I didn’t mean?—”

“It’s okay,” Will says, his voice steady. “But listen to me, Owen. Callie loves you. Anyone with eyes can see that. Whatever’s going on with her, it’s not because she doesn’t love you. It’s probably the opposite—she’s just overwhelmed. You’ve both been through a lot.”

I nod, but the pressure in my chest doesn’t ease. “I just keep thinking… what if I’m not enough for her? What if I’m not giving her what she needs?”

Will steps closer, lowering his voice. “Owen, you’re one of the most solid guys I know. You’ve been there for Callie through everything. If she’s struggling, it’s not because of something you did or didn’t do. It’s because life is hard as hell sometimes, and even the strongest people need help. Maybe you just need to find a better way to reach her.”

I let his words sink in, focusing on steadying my breathing as a wave of unease builds inside me. It’s like I’m teetering on the edge of losing control, the familiar grip of panic creeping closer with every passing second.

Will seems to notice, his hand landing firmly on my shoulder. “Hey, you’re okay,” he says, his voice grounding. “Breathe, man. Just breathe.”

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