Page 24 of All of Me

I hope the peaceful night will ease the tension that’s been hovering around us since Adam’s visit to see Ruby yesterday. Thinking back, I’m so proud of Callie for standing up to him. Of course he waited until I was in the shower to have his outburst. What a coward. Callie has come so far since we met. She sticks up for herself now when he starts to throw temper tantrums that rival Sara’s.

Callie watches me, trying not to laugh, as I zip up my coat and gather hats and gloves for everyone. “You really think we’ll keep the kids entertained in the car?” she asks, raising an eyebrow.

“I think it will be great,” I say, pressing a quick kiss to her cheek. “The kids are going to love the lights.”

Callie recently joined what she refers to as “Minivan Nation.” She selected a minivan large enough to account for three car seats.

When we arrive at Sabrina’s house to pick up Barrett, he comes rushing out the door ready to see the girls. He refers to Ruby as a pretty princess and it makes my heart swell with pride.

Once everyone’s settled in the car, we drive through the neighborhood, Christmas lights twinkling against the snow-covered lawns. Sara and Barrett are glued to the windows, oohing and ahhing at every display we pass.

“Look! There’s Santa!” Barrett squeals, pointing to a big inflatable snow globe down the street from Sabrina’s place. “You should get one of those at your house, Dad!”

Callie shoots me a look in horror, silently telling me that’s not going to happen. She already knows I love inflatables. I wanted to get one for Thanksgiving but she shot me down. We both laugh at his request and I give him a “yeah, maybe someday” to keep from begging. As much as I love Callie, I don’t think I can resist my little boy’s Christmas wishes.

Callie leans her head back against her seat, shoulders relaxing and it’s like the laughter melted her stress away. Good, that’s exactly what I was hoping for.

The next neighborhood is lined with houses decked from top to bottom with lights synced to holiday music, and Sara’s face lights up. “Slow, Dada!”

The word slips out without her realizing it, and something deep inside me shifts. It’s not the first time she’s ever called me that, and after yesterday, it hits me in a way I wasn’t prepared for. I would give anything to be these girls’ dad and free them from the chaos of having the dad they do. Callie looks at me with panic and I smile back at her, letting her know it’s okay. I slow down, music fills the car. Sara and Barrett soak it all in and Ruby somehow sleeps through the whole thing.

After a while, we head downtown to where Cedar Bluff’s main street is lit up with holiday decorations. Twinkling lights run from building to building on the town square, and the shop windows glow with festive displays. I would love to park and walk around the square with our little family, but the cold would be too much for little Ruby. We continue to drive slowly, letting everyone take in the sights around us.

As we leave downtown, I glance over at Callie. She’s watching the lights with a faint smile, lost in thought. I know her well enough by now to know she’s still anxious. I reach over to hold her hand, squeezing it three times in silent reassurance. She squeezes back twice. “Thank you,” she whispers, her voice so soft I can barely catch it over the sound of the Christmas music. “For tonight. For being here.”

Words catch in my throat as I think about everything that’s led us here. The late nights talking, the laughter we shared before either of us was willing to admit how we felt. It’s wild to think that we’ve known each other less than a year. We’ve been through so much in the last seven months and I cannot imagine what my life would be like without her and the girls now.

“It’s easy to be here with you,” I say simply. “This is all I want.”

The night stretches on in a comforting quiet. Sara and Barrett eventually drift off to sleep, their heads resting against the windows, soft snores fill the silence. We pull back into Sabrina’s driveway to drop Barrett off. I’m sad I don’t get to take him home with me tonight. I take a deep breath, savoring the peacefulness of my family together before we part. I wake Barrett up to say goodnight to Callie, and carry him inside. Sabrina meets me at the door and I walk to his room, tuck him into bed, and kiss him goodnight. He’s snoring again before I close the door. I thank Sabrina again for letting me take him tonight. Her fiancée Alex gives me a silent nod and wave as I walk back out to the van. I’m grateful we’ve been able to get along and wish it were possible for Adam to be civil like this. Maybe someday.

Back home, I carry Sara inside, her little body limp and warm against my shoulder as she sleeps. I smile at the quiet sound of her breathing, and reflect on how much my life has changed in the past year. Sara fits perfectly in my arms now, the same way Callie and her girls have settled perfectly into my life.

Callie walks ahead of me, Ruby’s tiny figure tucked close to her chest. The sight stirs something deep within me—pride maybe, or gratitude. Probably both. I watch her for a second, the way she moves with gentle strength, like she’s built to carry the weight of the world. A weight she doesn’t have to carry alone anymore, not if I have anything to say about it.

We carry the girls into their room. I tuck Sara into bed, her peaceful face aglow under the nightlight. “Sweet dreams, little one,” I whisper as I pull the blanket up to her chin. Callie settles Ruby into the crib as I step out of the room. Callie follows behind me, closing the door with that careful touch every parent learns. Our eyes meet, and she smiles at me—soft, tired, beautiful. The house is quiet now, the kind of quiet that feels earned after a long, full day.

We stop in the dim light of the living room, the glow from the Christmas tree casting flickering shadows on the walls. We stand there for a moment, then Callie steps into my arms, fitting herself against me. Her head rests on my chest like it belongs there and I press a kiss to her forehead, my lips lingering for a moment.

“Thank you for today.” Her voice is soft when she speaks, filled with warmth and vulnerability. “For everything. For making us feel safe. For makingmefeel safe.”

The emotion in her voice hits me square in the chest, and I tighten my arms around her, holding her as close as I can. “You don’t have to thank me,” I murmur, my voice thick. “This is where I want to be, Callie. With you. With them. Always. I just wish Barrett could have come home with us tonight too.”

She pulls back just enough to look at me, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. “Me too. You know, you make it look easy… being with me,” she says softly, her lips curving into a sheepish smile. “But I know it’s not. I know we’re not.”

I shake my head, brushing my thumb along her jawline. “You don’t have to be easy,” I say, my voice steady and sure. “I love you exactly as you are, Callie. All of it—the good, the hard, everything in between. And I’ll do it every day, as long as you’ll let me.”

She just stares at me for a moment, like she’s trying to memorize my face. Then she presses her forehead to mine, her hands sliding up to rest on my chest. “You mean that, don’t you?” she whispers, like she’s afraid to believe it.

I pull her closer, my lips brushing hers in a kiss that’s soft, deliberate, and full of every promise I can’t put into words. It’s not rushed or desperate, just steady and certain, like my feelings for her. When we pull back, I rest my forehead against hers, looking her in the eyes. “With everything I have,” I tell her, my voice low and steady. The words feel like more than a promise; they are the truth of who I am now, wrapped up in her and the life we’re building together. I’ve never meant anything more.

Her eyes shimmer and tears fall freely down her cheeks. She doesn’t wipe them away, and it guts me when she says, “I don’t know what I ever did to deserve you,” Her voice cracks as the words slam into me. My heart aches for the wounded part of her that is convinced she is unworthy of love. How can she not see what I see? She deserves more than me. She deserves the world.

I tighten my arms around her. Anger and frustration flare briefly in my chest. I’m angry at Adam for doing such a bang up job of making her think so little of herself, and I’m frustrated that she cannot see herself for the remarkable woman she is. She doesn’t realize she’s the one who saved me. She’s the reason I wake up every morning feeling like the luckiest man alive.

“You’ve got it wrong, Callie,” I say, my voice thick with emotion. I pull back to look at her, brushing away her tears. “You’ve brought so much light into my life, so much love, I don’t even know how I got by before you.”

Her lips part, and I can see the protest coming, but I continue before she speaks. “You think you’re a lot to handle, but you’re not. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted, everything I didn’t even know I needed. You’ve given me more than I ever thought I deserved, Callie.Youare more than I ever could have asked for. So don’t you dare think for a second that you’re not enough. You are so, so much more than enough.”

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