Page 143 of All of Me

Now, we’re here. Together.

This little boy in my arms is proof of how far we’ve come. He’s the product of love, of trust, of all the work we’ve put in to create a life we never thought we’d have.

“I can’t believe he’s ours,” I say quietly, my thumb brushing over the soft fabric of his blanket.

“Believe it,” Callie says, her smile widening. “He’s ours and so is everything we’ve built.”

I look at her, and I’m completely overwhelmed, by her strength, by the tiny life she brought into this world, by the life we’ve created, by the thought of what’s still ahead. “Thank you,” I say softly, my voice breaking.

She tilts her head, her brow furrowing. “For what?”

“For everything,” I reply. “For this life, for our family, for loving me even when I didn’t know how to love myself the way I should. For giving me all of this.”

Her eyes fill with tears, and she reaches out to place her hand on my arm. “You’ve given me just as much, Owen. More than I ever thought I’d have. You’ve shown me what family really means.”

I glance down at Remi, who lets out a soft sigh, his tiny fingers curling into the blanket. “He’s going to have such a good life,” I say, my voice steady with conviction. “We’re going to make sure of that.”

“We will,” she agrees, her hand slipping into mine.

As the quiet hum of the hospital room settles around us, I feel a sense of completeness. Everything we’ve gone through—the struggles, the doubts, the moments when it felt like we’d never get here—was all worth it.

Looking at Callie, at Remington, I know one thing for sure: I’m so glad I promised to judge her when I asked what her five favorite bands were. And I’m glad she took a chance responding back to me.

epilogue

MEMORIES - MAROON 5

CALLIE - JULY 26, 2024

TEN YEARS LATER

With everything that has been going on in our lives, it’s been hard to find time where my husband and I can enjoy each other’s company. I cannot even remember the last time we went on a date. Most days, I don’t mind it, because I am lucky enough to have a husband who shows me he loves me every single day. Today, however, is special and come hell or high water, we are going on a date, damn it.

I cannot believe it’s been ten years since we said, “I do.” Not only that, but it’s been eleven years (and a day) since I told that poor man that it would just be easier to refer to him as my boyfriend when talking about him to my mother. I’m still thankful that he didn’t freak out at the idea of me labeling us all those years ago.

We’ve been through so much in the last ten years–lots of smiles, lots of laughs, and unfortunately, a lot of tears too. I would say the fifth year of our marriage was the hardest for us. Not because of issues between us, but because of everyone we lost that year. There were nine deaths in the family and we had to attend seven funerals.

Losing Owen’s mother Suzanne was the hardest thing I’ve ever been through in my life, I think. She was such an incredible woman and her death was one we never saw coming. Owen and I were doing yard work when we got a call from Suzanne’s new husband that she hadn’t been feeling well for a couple days and he was taking her to the emergency room. Owen rushed to the hospital about thirty minutes away while I arranged for someone to watch the kids.

Thankfully, Vince and his wife still live across the street from us and she came over to watch the kids for me until my mom could make it from Hawkridge to Cedar Bluff.

When I got to the hospital, we discovered she had an aneurysm in her stomach and she wasn’t likely to make it through the night. I’ve never seen a hospital waiting room so full of members from one family. Every single one of Owen’s cousins who lived in the area along with his aunts and grandparents were there with us. They only allowed her immediate family in to say goodbye, so I didn’t get the chance to tell her how much she means to me.

I’m grateful my last memories of Suzanne are so good. We spent Easter with her a couple weeks before she died. She had given me a blanket that I’d accidentally left at her house several years prior. It was a blanket I’d made when I was a teenager, and I’d taken it with me to a football game for Vicki’s son, Cameron. I hadn’t thought about the blanket at all and just assumed I’d misplaced it at some point during one of our many moves. Turns out, Suzanne picked it up for me after the game and had been holding onto it for quite some time. She must have found it when she was looking for her Easter decorations that year.

Now, the blanket that once didn’t mean anything to me has an extra special place in my heart. I take it with me everywhere, to every parade, every school sporting event. It makes me feel like Suzanne is still with us, still watching the kids grow. Maybe that’s silly, but it means a lot to me.

Owen has really struggled the last several years since we lost his mom. Something inside him died that day, too. He’s still the incredible man he’s always been, but I think he wakes up every single day hoping that he makes his mother proud. He does. She would be so proud of our family.

To add insult to injury, we lost my step-dad Wayne exactly thirty days after Suzanne passed away. He’d gone to the Hawkridge Hospital because he wasn’t feeling well. He thought there might be complications with the dialysis port. His diabetes had worsened over the years and you would think the doctors would have listened to him when he said there was something wrong with his fistula. He was an ultrasound tech for years and was very familiar with these kinds of things. However, the doctors turned him away.

Within twelve hours, my sister Taylor and her husband had to rush him to the hospital in Iowa City. It’s been five years since he died, and I still don’t know the full extent of what happened to him. I know he was septic and there was an infection that got to his brain. They performed a Hail Mary surgery in hopes of saving him, but Taylor ultimately had to make the decision for him to come off life-support. I was shocked to learn the decision fell to her, because I assumed it would fall to my mother. However, Wayne made my sister his power of attorney around the same time Suzanne died, so my mother wouldn’t have to make the decision. Again, the timing seems so surreal looking back on it.

The other handful of deaths in the family included my dad’s dad, both of my father-in-law Henry’s parents, and several other extended family members on both sides of our family. All this happened before the COVID-19 Pandemic in 2020.

Wiping a tear from my eye, I stare up at the ceiling trying to blink away more tears before they ruin my makeup. I exhale a long breath, trying to pull myself together. Today is supposed to be a happy day, damn it! I don’t want to spend the day crying. I hear footsteps approach the bedroom door.

“What’s wrong, Dollface?” my sweet husband asks. I don’t know how he manages to appear every time I’m feeling off, but I will forever be grateful for it. I haven’t put my dress on yet and, despite my tears, I cannot help but notice the grin that spreads across his face as he takes in the sight of my black lace bra and thong.

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