Page 126 of All of Me

My Wife:

I can’t wait until you get home, Daddy.

I swallow hard, my grip tightening on my phone.

Me:

Are you trying to kill me?

My Wife:

I just thought I should send you a little birthday treat.

I shift my stance, adjusting myself because suddenly my jeans feel too damn tight.

Me:

This is more like torture.

My Wife:

Oh, baby. I haven’t even started torturing you yet.

I exhale through my nose, dragging a hand down my face.

Me:

You better still be in that bed when I get home.

My Wife:

I will be. Maybe I’ll still have these on too.

[Attached: A close-up of red lace barely covering her hips.]

Jesus Christ.

I run a hand over my head, my whole body coiled with tension.

Me:

If you want me to walk out of this job without embarrassing myself, you need to stop.

My Wife:

Where’s the fun in that?

Me:

Keep it up and your lingerie isn’t going to be the only thing red you’re wearing tonight.

My Wife:

Don’t threaten me with a good time.

Me:

Please see if your mom can watch the girls tonight.

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