Page 109 of All of Me

Our officiant, Callie’s cousin Olivia, welcomes our guests to the ceremony, but I barely hear the words. All my attention is on Callie—the way her hand feels in mine, the way her smile reaches her eyes, the way she makes me feel like the luckiest man alive.

“Today marks the beginning of their new life and new family, one they have made together,” she continues. “Callie and Owen are here today because they are certain that a life together in this world and a promise between their spirits for eternity is the path they choose to go down together. Both come to the other with beautiful children, and this ceremony blends these two loving families into one.

When Callie first asked me to officiate this ceremony for her, I was just as nervous as I was excited. What could I, an unmarried, childless college student have to offer by way of spiritual guidance or advice for this wonderful couple?

As I talked to Callie, and I watched her and Owen’s relationship from the outside, I realized all I needed to offer was a mirror and a light.

Patience, compassion, and dedication already abound in their relationship. I need only to mirror it back to them, a reminder that they are capable of these traits even on their worst days; they are brimming with these traits on their best days, and to be generous with these traits in the years ahead, with each other, with their children, but also with themselves.”

Olivia continues on, explaining to our guests what Callie has already taught me about handfastings. As instructed, we criss-cross our hands while Olivia begins to wrap the braided cord Callie made around our wrists, symbolically tying is together as she reads about the rite of the handfasting ritual:

These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and full of love for you, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as a promise to love each other today, tomorrow, and forever.

These are the hands that will work alongside yours, as together you build your future.

These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, and with the slightest touch, will comfort you like no other.

These are the hands that will hold you when fear or grief fills your mind.

These are the hands that will countless times wipe tears from your eyes; tears of sorrow, and tears of joy.

These are the hands that will tenderly hold your children.

These are the hands that will help you hold your family as one.

These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it.

These are the hands that even when wrinkled and aged, will still be reaching for yours, still giving you the same unspoken tenderness with just a touch.

With this cord, I bind Owen and Callie to the vows they make to each other.

The knots of this binding are not formed by this cord, but by your vows. You hold in your hands and hearts the making or breaking of this union. May your marriage be blessed with patience and dedication, forgiveness and respect, love and understanding.

Olivia unties the cord and drapes it around my neck. I realize then, tears have fallen from my eyes. Once unbound, Callie reaches her hand to wipe the tear from my cheek, as tears fall from her eyes as well.

“Love, trust, a sense of humor, and an unfailing passion for life–Callie and Owen have it all. These traits and these two people will always be a light to the other in the dark, the sunshine in every day. Callie and Owen will now read each other the vows they’ve prepared as they commit to each other in this life and the next.”

When it’s time for the vows, my hands tremble as I unfold the paper I’ve been carrying for weeks. Tears cloud my vision, making it difficult to read my chicken-scratch handwriting, but I’ve read them so many times aloud in preparation for today, I almost don’t need my notes at all.

Callie Marie Madden,

Where do I begin? We both have been walked all over and disappointed by love. I am grateful for the people who have destroyed us. Without them, our broken pieces would have never fit together.

I am so grateful for my two wonderful daughters that you have brought into my life. I don’t know what I would do or where I would be without you three ladies.

You are an amazing mother to our three children.

You are my light on dark days. You are my life. You are my world. You are my universe. And most importantly, you are my best friend.

John Legend said it best when he says ‘I love your curves and all your edges and all your perfect imperfections.’

I love everything about you.

Callie Madden, from this day forward, I offer myself to you as your partner in crime. I vow to love you in sickness and in health. I commit myself to encourage you in good times and in bad. I will cherish and respect you all the days of our life together. Starting anew again.

I give thanks that I have found you.

I promise to be worth it–worth the time, worth the trip, worth the energy, worth your love, and sometimes worth the embarrassment.

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