Page 51 of In Flight

“You have time. You can shower here if you want.”

“I better stop by my hotel room first so I can get back into gear. I don’t like to feel unsettled before working.”

“That makes sense.”

What he said is entirely natural. And means absolutely nothing bad about our connection.

But for some reason it pulls me back down to reality with a hard bump.

Because this isn’t one of my faceless fantasies that can be turned off and entirely separated from real life. And Isaac and I have a lot that separates us—including hundreds of miles.

I’ve been trying for so long to be smart with my heart, but I’ve basically handed it now to Isaac without verifying that it was safe.

It felt safe. But my feelings often lead me astray.

“What’s the matter?” he asks, evidently sensing a change in my body.

“Nothing. Just never fun getting back into everyday life.”

“No. It’s really not.” He nuzzles my hair and lets me go, rolling away and then dropping his legs over the side of the bed. “So...” He clears his throat and rubs a hand through his messy hair. “How do you want to do this?”

“Do what?”

“This.” He gestures between our bodies. “What are you thinking about all of it?”

I’d rather he tell me how he’s feeling first, but there’s no reason not to be honest with him. “I really loved last night. It was... so good. But this is... this is new. And I don’t do well when I jump headlong into new things. So maybe we can... we can keep it kind of casual at first. You need to focus on work, and I need to feel secure in my regular life. So let’s go slow. At least for now.”

He nods. I can’t read his reaction in his expression at all, which is strange and frustrating. “That’s a good idea. So how about we go through our normal week, and we’ll see each other on Friday and go from there.”

“That sounds good.”

It doesn’t sound good. It sounds wrenching. Terrible. I desperately want to see him again tonight.

But my feelings don’t always lead in the right direction, and I’m not going to let them carry me away this time.

It was hard enough recovering from relationships that mostly existed in my mind.

If I have to get over a heartbreak from Isaac, my heart might never fully heal.

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