Page 31 of In Flight

Seven

ALL DAY ON FRIDAY,I’m in a tizzy of excitement.

Atizzy. There’s no other word for it.

Breaking up with Cash went as I predicted. It was awkward and uncomfortable and rather painful because he didn’t want it to happen. Isaac was right about one thing, however. It wasn’t a surprise to Cash. He must have been expecting it for a while because his response was closer to accepting his doom than being hit by a blow out of the blue.

When I think about our last conversation, I still feel bad, but ever since I woke up on Tuesday morning with the breakup finally done, I’ve been excited. Jittery.

Like something good can finally happen now.

No matter how much I lecture myself that there’s no realistic future with Isaac—we live in different cities, we’re far too different, our being together would never be smart—my heart simply doesn’t believe it.

My heart is flying high.

I leave work a few minutes early and zoom through the normal traffic, so I arrive at the airport earlier than usual. I’m not sure why I think Isaac will be waiting at the gate—he has never once beat me there—but I’m still scouring the faces of fellow travelers as I get through security and then hurry down the crowded hallways.

No Isaac.

Of course not.

He won’t have been anticipating our flight all week the way I’ve been. He’s a reasonable, logical thinker who always keeps his emotions in check. He’s not like me. While I’m sure he’s enjoyed our time together, he’s not about to get carried away by hopes and dreams that have no sure grounding the way I do.

I really need to pull myself together, or I’m going to be crushed at the end of a fall.

After I board and take my normal seat and there’s still no sign of Isaac, I continue reminding myself of a basic truth.

The world isn’t what I want it to be. Daydreams only exist in my mind. Real life can’t offer everything my heart leads me to.

Everyone is on board and in their seats.

Everyone except Isaac.

His seat is still empty beside me. All this giddy anticipation has truly been for nothing because he’s not even going to show up today.

It’s a bleak, heavy recognition, and it sinks down on me as I drop my head to stare at the fabric of the pretty floral dress I wore today. My favorite with a smocked bodice and a fun ruffle on the hem.

For nothing. All of it for nothing.

One day I really need to learn my lesson.

“Hey.”

The familiar voice surprises me so much a squeak escapes me as I jump into an upright position.

He cocks his head to one side with a quizzical expression as he stows his suitcase above us.

“Sorry. I wasn’t paying attention.”

“I saw that. You were miles away. Is everything okay?” He’s still scanning my face with what looks like real concern, but something is missing behind his eyes.

A warm light that’s always been there. Even in his annoyance with me on the very first day.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just stuck in my own thoughts. I wasn’t sure you were going to show up today.”

“Yeah. I’m running late.”

Now that the searching concern has gone, he’s visibly subdued as he takes off his jacket, loosens his tie, and sinks with a sigh into his seat.

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