Page 39 of In Flight

“I didn’t know at first, but I know now. Is it motion sickness? Or a fear of heights or something?”

“No. Not either of those. I hate being... trapped. And it’s worse if the thing I’m trapped in doesn’t feel secure.”

“Well, that’s a reasonable fear.”

“Did I say I was afraid?”

“No, but I read between the lines. And it’s a perfectly rational fear—a perfectly rational dislike to have. Is that connected to why you always sit in this seat way in the back?”

“Yes. It’s irrational, but having people behind me always made it worse. Made me feel more trapped or something. So I always sit in the back, but I have to have an aisle seat so I’m not trapped by the person beside me.”

“Have you tried sitting in the back row of the business cabin? So there’s a divider behind you?”

“Yes. I’ve tried everything. And this seat is the only thing that works.”

“Oh. Well, I guess it makes sense why you refused to move then. And it’s not because you’re attached to your seat like I am.”

“No. I’m not attached. It’s a purely strategic choice on my part.”

“I wish I would have known earlier. I wouldn’t have teased you so much if I’d known you were dealing with all that. And it’s terrible that you have to travel so much for work. How have you handled all the flying you have to do?”

“I just grit my teeth and suffer through it. Although lately it hasn’t been so bad because I’ve had something to distract me.”

I want to melt at the words and the look in his eyes. But something about his word choice pokes a tiny hole in my ebullience.

Because I don’t want to only be a distraction for this man.

His eyebrows draw together. “What’s wrong? What did I say?”

“Nothing. You didn’t say anything.”

“It looks like you got your feelings hurt.”

I gasp and stiffen. “I didn’t get my feelings hurt!”

He chuckles. “And now you’re mad at me.”

“I’m not mad.”

“Okay. You’re not mad. You didn’t get your feelings hurt. Nothing I see as plain as day on your face has any basis in reality at all.”

“That’s right,” I tell him with a sniff. “Try to remember it.”

“I will.” He’s smiling again as he relaxes back in his seat. “But I do want to know why you reacted that way just now. Surely you know that you’re the distraction I was talking about.”

“I do know.”

“So what do you have to say about it?”

“I...” I gulp as a wave of nerves washes over me. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t.”

“No. It seems... I don’t know. It seems a little difficult.”

“Why?”

“Well, we live in different states. We’ve never known each other at all outside the confines of these flights. It doesn’t feel like a very secure foundation for... for pursuing it.”

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