Page 50 of A Bright Winter Season

He smiled at her, not seeming to think it was weird that she remembered. It appeared to make him happy, as if he liked that she knew it.

“What’s your favorite food here?” he asked her. “The coleslaw, I’ll bet.”

“No, mashed potatoes. Especially with Allison’s award-winning gravy. I tried to make it once with the recipe she gave me, and it didn’t turn out right at all.” She laughed, remembering how disappointed she’d been.

“I bet it tasted great. You’re a really good cook.”

She nodded, suddenly feeling awkward again. “Thanks.” She wondered if he’d thought that she was fishing for compliments with her story. She hadn’t been, but she found it odd that he’d been so quick to compliment her.

They reached the end of the food line, and Jacob gestured to an empty table for two at the back of the dining room. “Looks like those seats are open. You want to sit with me there?”

“Sure. That’s a nice spot, by the window.” She was speaking stiffly, finding it hard to look at him. She wanted to behave differently, but she felt so uncomfortable, wondering how to act and what he was thinking.

They sat down together and began to eat their food. It was still warm and absolutely delicious. Hazel closed her eyes for a moment, savoring the creamy taste of the mashed potatoes paired with the rich gravy.

“You must feel really proud of what you and your family has accomplished here,” Jacob said, smiling at her. “It’s a fantastic event. Everyone seems really happy.”

She nodded, smiling more at the table than at him. “Thanks. I am proud.”

They ate their food in silence for a while. Every now and again, Jacob would try to make conversation, but Hazel would answer him in short sentences and not ask him any questions in return. She kept telling herself that she should, but she felt too tongue-tied. Finally, when they were done eating and just finishing their coffee, he cleared his throat gently.

“Hazel?”

She glanced up at his face and saw that he was looking right at her, his expression slightly pained.

“Yes?”

“We—I guess I just want to say that we had so much fun together when we were fixing the vents. I don’t want to feel like I damaged our friendship by saying what I did. It’s okay that you’re not interested in me. Heck, I never really figured you would be.” He grinned gallantly. “Why does our comradery have to be any different now? I’m okay with just being friends.”

Hazel bit her lip. “It’s not that. It’s not that at all.”

He watched her face carefully. “Then what is it?”

She sighed. “I don’t want you to think that I would never be interested in you. I—I was. I really was. Right before you started dating your girlfriend, I was actually planning on asking you out.”

Jacob’s eyes widened. “You were? Me?”

She couldn’t help smiling a little, because his surprise was so endearing. “Yes. My family helped me figure out how I was going to do it and everything. I made you a gift basket. You remember that I had that basket with me when I ran into you and your girlfriend for the first time? I was planning on asking you out that day. But learning that you were with someone else completely stopped me in my tracks.”

Jacob shook his head, looking dazed. “I can hardly—Hazel, I had no idea. I never would have expected you to be interested in me.”

“I was.” She laughed breathlessly for a moment, thinking of all the times she’d sat in her kitchen daydreaming like a teenager about getting to go out with him. “I—ever since high school, I’ve been interested in you.”

Jacob straightened up, looking ecstatic and hopeful. “Really? Honestly?”

She cleared her throat. “Yes. But—well, I was always too scared to do anything about it. When I’d finally mustered enough courage to ask you out, it was too late. That taught me that I was too afraid of getting hurt, and I didn’t value myself enough. After that happened, I spent a lot of time working on self-growth and learning to be a more confident person. That’s why I said no to going out with you now. I want to make sure I’m not going to lose that progress.”

Although it looks like I already have,she thought with a sigh.I feel like I’m all thumbs right now.

“I understand.” He smiled at her. “It’s clear that you’re doing really well. You’ve been so successful here with the pub, and I can tell that you’ve become more confident. I absolutely admire the character growth you’ve undergone. But I don’t think that going out with me would make you any less confident.” He gripped the sides of his coffee mug tightly, leaning forward a little. “If you were to give me a chance, Hazel, I wouldn’t mess that up.”

She inhaled, feeling torn. Her heart was thumping, and she felt overwhelmed by what he was saying. It felt like too much for her to think about at once. She felt her face flushing hotly as she looked back at him.

“I—thank you for saying that, Jacob.” Her voice sounded breathless. “But I just don’t have the—I can’t think about that just now. I’m still concerned about this event being successful, and I should get back to helping make sure things run smoothly. I can’t think about anything else just now.”

He nodded, looking as though she’d just punched him in the stomach. “I hear what you’re saying. Okay.” He forced a smile and stood up, picking up his plate and coffee mug. “I can take your plate. Should I just bring them into the kitchen?”

“I can do that?—”

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