Page 101 of A Pretty Fixation

Mr. Michaelson nods.

“That’s fine,” Mrs. Michaelson agrees. “This way.”

We straighten at the same time. Jordyn and Ifollow her down the passage to a tidy bedroom with soft blue paint, whitefurniture, and a queen-size bed. There’s so much sunlight pouring in throughthe sheer curtains.

Mr. Michaelson lingers outside in the passage. Hechokes up and walks away.

Mrs. Michaelson hugs herself. “It’s hard for himto come in here.”

I nod and look around the room. There’s a shelfneatly stacked with books, a worn lacrosse stick in the corner, posters ofmusicians and renowned athletes on the wall.

Jordyn stays close as I wander to the dresser,observing the perfume bottles, jewelry, hair accessories, and then the photosplastered around the mirror. People rarely do that these days, leaving capturedmoments on their phones or social media.

“She looks happy in every picture,” I remark.

“Dove was a happy girl. Such an inspiration. Eventhough she had the condition, it never stopped her. She had so many friends andwas great at making people laugh. Everyone loved her.” Her eyes glisten as shetalks about her daughter. “She went to the community college nearby to stayhome.”

“What did she want to do after college?” Jordynasks.

“Social worker. Help kids from broken homes.”

I smile. “I’m not surprised. She would say thingslike that.”

“Hm. Oh.” Mrs. Michaelson goes into the closet andreaches up for something, stepping out with a small and worn brown teddy bearthat’s missing an eye. “This is yours, right?”

Jordyn gasps at the sight.

“Yes,” she murmurs, accepting the stuffed animal.“Thank you.”

Mrs. Michaelson sighs. “Dove said she felt bad fortaking it, but it reminded her of you. So she held on to it.”

Jordyn holds the bear at her chest snugly. “I’mglad she didn’t throw it out.”

“I don’t understand,” I rasp. “Why did she takeit?”

Mrs. Michaelson shrugs. “She never said.”

“I think I know why.” Jordyn sniffles. “I treatedit like my only friend, always kept it close. Dove told me once that I’d neveropen up to anyone if I didn’t stop clinging to a teddy bear.” She scoffs. “Shewas right.”

I shouldn’t be upset with Dove, considering shedied. But I’m mad that she forgot about me and moved on like I’d meant nothingto her. And I don’t understand why she wondered about Jordyn when she nevereven spoke of her to me. I guess we’ll never know the answers.

After talking with the Michaelsons some more, theygive us the location of where Dove’s buried.

I drive to the cemetery, and Jordyn and I walkthrough the rows of stones towards the spot.

I feel a painful rush the second I find herheadstone. It’s so much more real now. Dove is truly gone.

“Maybe you should do this alone,” Jordyn says.

I grip her hand before she leaves, telling her,“Stay.”

Drawing a long, deep breath, I launch right intoit. “What the fuck, Dove. You swore we’d always be close. Then you switched upthe moment you were adopted. But I didn’t change. I kept my side of the dealand looked for you.” My body starts to shake, and tears fall down my face. “Nowyou’ve gone someplace I can’t reach you. You left me forever.”

I close my eyes.

Jordyn leans into my side and rubs my chest.

Calming down, I open my eyes again and say thethings I came here to say. “I did it. I’m playing soccer just as I said I would,and I plan to go pro. I’m happy. I have a supportive family. And I’m in love.”I look at Jordyn, saying to her, “Perhaps I should thank Dove. My obsessionwith finding her brought me to you. It must be fate because I’m certain you andI are supposed to be together. My heart is at ease, and even after realizing Iwasn’t with Dove the whole time, it still feels at peace.”

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