Page 97 of Steps

“I know.” A heavy sigh surges from my lips. “But,how about when we return to Baltimore?”

“Toya, I lo—”

“Think this is a good wedding gift?” Alison asks, interruptingthe moment where I’m positive Varen was going to say the words my heart’s beenwaiting on.

We turn to her. She’s holding up a wooden framewith a metal rose etched into the center. “All we have to do is carve the dateof their wedding at the bottom.”

“Oh.” I succeed in smiling. “That’s cool. I likeit.”

She flicks to her brother, still beaming. “What doyou think, V?”

He shrugs. “It’s okay, I guess.” Then he marchesoff, leaving us in the store.

Alison frowns as she twists back to me. “What’s upwith him?”

I splay my hand and act oblivious. “Moody.”

Her expression turns sad. “Hope he’s not feelingdown about Dad remarrying.”

Varen is more upset that he can’t be with meopenly. I doubt he’s too sad his dad is moving on with another woman. But howcan I tell her that?

“Um, I’m sure he’ll be all right,” I say instead,putting my hair behind my ears.

Alison nods. Her smile resurfaces as she looks atthe frame. “I’m going to purchase this.”

“Great.”

I linger in the spot as she sashays to thecashier, still thinking about Varen and whether he was going to tell me heloves me just now.

When we reach back to the Kirby castle, Alisonencourages her dad to have a talk with Varen. The two of them go for a strollalone near the horse stables.

I continue inside with everyone else. Mom tows mefrom the sitting room while Alison and her grandparents catch up. She closesthe door when we step outside to the stone patio.

“Are you all right?” she asks unexpectedly.

This makes me scowl. “Yes. Why do you ask?”

“You just seem...” She shakes her head. “Troubled.I’ve been noticing it for a while now.”

For some reason, I’m mad that she’s noticedsomething I don’t want her to. What about all the other times when I neededher?

“How would you know when I’m troubled? You neverpaid attention to stuff like that over the years.”

Her face falls, causing me to compose myself outof guilt and try to retract. “I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to say that.” My tone issofter.

Mom raises her shoulders in a shrug. “No, you’reright. I don’t know. I wasn’t a good mother.”

I sigh. “You did your best. I’m sorry for bringingup the past when I promised to meet you halfway.”

A partial smile appears as she takes my hands.“Toya, it’s okay to tell me how much I’ve hurt you. You don’t have to keep itin anymore for my sake. I never made you feel as if you could openly expressyourself before, but that’s different now. You can say it all. I’ll take it,cause Lord knows I deserve it.”

I peer down at our hands. I’m not as mad about thepast anymore. Right now, all I want is for us both to be happy.I want Varen.

A tear escapes and trickles down my face.

“Toya, what is it, honey?” She lets go to wipe mycheek. “You can tell me.”

“Um…” I wobble my head and ease back. “Nothing.We’ll talk when we’re back in Baltimore. Don’t want to ruin this time for you.”

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