Page 83 of Steps

The party has already kicked off by the time wearrive. A bunch of people calls out to Varen, and he introduces me to only theones he doesn’t mind hanging out with.

Finn shows up that evening with a pretty girl athis side. He offers blunts to a few kids. Varen refuses. But he does drink. I makesure to stay sober in case I need to drive us home. Plus, I’m not very good athandling liquor.

We dance together, play pool, and chat with peopleI know I’ll never see again. It feels good being together so openly. He callsme his girlfriend around his peers and even kisses me in front of them.

As it gets later, Varen leads me into a bedroomupstairs. We begin making out the second he locks the door. He can’t keep hishands off my body, touching me all over and tugging at my dress.

He growls. “As pretty as this is, I can’t wait toget you out of it.”

I tear my lips from him and stare at the bed.“Should we do this in someone’s room?” I ask, wary.

Varen shrugs. “It’s okay. My buddy won’t mind.” Hekisses me again and pulls down my zipper. “People do it all the time.”

A thought runs through my head, and I ease back.“Have you slept with someone in this room before?”

He touches his piercing at the corner of hismouth. “Not in here.”

“But a different one. Got it.” I sink down on theedge of the bed while holding up my dress.

Varen sighs. “I’ve been straight up with you fromthe start, Toya. I had a different girl every so often.” He sits beside me,seeming regretful. “I have a past. I’m sorry it bothers you.”

I shake my head. “No, I get it. I’m not judgingyou.”

He furrows his forehead. “Then what’s up?”

“I don’t know. Nothing.” I rifle my curls. “SorryI ruined the vibe.”

Varen strokes my face. “Not at all. Just talk tome.”

Shifting on the bed, I slouch my shoulders as Itell him how I feel. “Guess I’m just tired. It’s so nice not having to hide ourrelationship here. Wish it could be like this all the time.”

“Once we get back from Scotland, it will be.”

“That’s the other thing,” I say on a near whisper.“What if telling them ruins everything? What if our family forces us apart?”

Varen cups my face, a stern look in his eyes as hesays, “No one is going to fucking keep me from you. I’ll fight for this, Toya.You will, too, won’t you?”

I tell him, “Yes.” Then lean in for a sultry kiss.

A smile relaxes his face after. He stares at thebed. “You know, now that I’m thinking about it, I don’t want to make love mygirl in someone else’s bed.” He zips up my dress. “Let’s get out of here.”

I nod. “Ice-cream?”

This results in a chortle. “Anything you want,baby.”

20

My updated passport arrives in the mail on Monday.The date to leave for Scotland is fast approaching, and I can almost taste theexcitement in the air whenever I’m around Mom and Daniel.

Now that it’s summer break, Alison is home more.I’m happy she wants to get to know me. But I wonder if she’ll still feel thatway after Varen and I confess what’s been going on between us.

Wednesday evening, our parents go out for a dinnerdate, and Alison joins Varen and me in the family room for a movie on Netflix.

Varen hasn’t been to my room since last Thursdaynight. He says Alison stays up late reading law books and doesn’t want to riskit. She’ll definitely catch us, so we just have to play it cool for a while.

My phone pings with a text message. I straightenin surprise when I see it’s from August.

Would love to buy you coffee tomorrow?

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