Page 70 of Steps

He slopes his head while observing me. “But Ithought that’s what you’ve always wanted?”

“I’m not so sure anymore, especially after thattalk with my mom, and…” I trail.

Varen exhales deeply. “Are you making changesbecause of me?”

“You’re not the only reason,” I reply almostchildlike, then bite my bottom lip.

He crumples his forehead. “Toya, if you give upyour dreams for me, you’ll end up hating me.”

“I’m not.” I link my fingers around his neck. “Theonly reason I picked a college in Cali is because I wanted to get away from mymom. But now that we’re focusing on rebuilding, I want to look into schoolscloser to home.”

Varen tightens his arms around me. “So, it’s notjust to be near me?”

A flirty smile creeps onto my lips. “That’s anadded bonus.”

He chortles softly. “All right. But you do knowI’m not going to live with my dad forever, right? Who knows, I might move outby the end of the summer. Get an apartment somewhere.”

I furrow my forehead. “Really? Does that meanyou’re taking that job offer from your dad’s friend?”

He breathes out long and hard. “Well, it’s not abad job. I could work during the day and take online classes at night.”

This is delightful. “Aw, look at you being allmature.”

Varen pulls me into his chest. “Yeah, I realize I needto get myself together, and after everything I’ve put my dad through, it’s timeto show him I’m not a total lost cause. I’m trying.”

I kiss his lips sweetly and whisper, “You’re agreat guy, Varen Kirby.”

A sexy look forms on his face. “Besides, I need myown place, so we won’t have to sneak around at the house.”

I blink away from him and stare at the dark water.Sneaking around places a sad feeling in my stomach. I wish we didn’t have to dothat at all.

Varen kisses my cheek. “What if we just tell them?We’re not related by blood. It’s not illegal either. What’s so wrong about usbeing together?”

“Nothing. But to our parents,” I meet his gaze,“everything’s wrong with that.”

“So what are we going to do?” he asks, voiceraspy. “Do you want me to stay away and not have sex again until I move out?”He traces my lips with his thumb. “Could you do that? Go without me touchingyou for a while?” He runs his hand along my neck until reaching my collarbone.

A shaky breath rushes from me. I swallow hard. “Isit just my body keeping you interested?”

“Of course not.” Varen drops his hand from mychest. “I enjoy every part of you, especially your mind. I love how we can talkfor hours about anything.”

That settles my worry a bit. “Me too.”

Straightening from the wall, Varen kisses me slowand sensually.”

A light rain starts on the drive back to thehouse. All the lights are off. Daniel and my mom have gone to bed.

Varen heads to the stairs. He peers over hisshoulder at me and releases my hand. “Night,” he whispers.

Disappointment floods me. I whisper back,“Goodnight.”

As quietly as possible, he climbs the stairs tohis bedroom, and I continue down to mine.

Changing for bed, I turn off the light and slipunder the covers. The light sprinkles transitions into a torrential downpourbeating against my window.

I can’t fall asleep, consumed by a maddeningdesire for Varen. I’m getting used to him crawling into bed with me. Buttonight feels different. Tonight, I yearn to go to him.

A surfeit of courage crashes over me. I toss thesheet aside, hop out of bed, and tiptoe from my room.

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