Page 68 of Steps

I sit with room between us. “What’s going on?”

Her features appear softer than ever. “Toya, Iknow I haven’t been the greatest mother.”

Understatement of the century.

“I’ve put you in bad situations more times than Ican count.” She reaches for my hand. “I’ve even blamed you for things notworking out in my life.”

“Oh, wow. Where’s all this coming from?” I’msurprised. She’s never been so remorseful with me.

A sad expression covers her face. “I just wantedto say I’m sorry for failing you all those times. I’m sorry for not doingbetter by you.”

I shrug and tell her, “It’s… okay. It’s in thepast.” But it’s not okay. She’s hurt me.

Mom shakes her head as if reading my mind. “Youstill hate me for it. I see it in your eyes whenever you look at me.”

“I don’t hate you, Mom. Never have. All I’ve everwanted was your love and attention.”

She sighs heavily. “Something you got from your grandmother,and I didn’t even allow you to have that. I was so jealous of her affectiontoward you. She never treated me well, but she was all wonderful to you.”

I pull away and look down at my lap. “Whathappened between you and Gran had nothing to do with me. Yet I wasalwaysin the middle.”

Mom gently touches my arm, soothing the littlegirl in me desperate for her. Crazy how no matter how upset I am, a lovingtouch will shatter my defenses.

When I look at her, she smiles sincerely. “This isa new start, Toya. I’ve finally found the happiness I’ve always dreamed of.”

You should have been happy with me.

“Hmm.”

She holds my hand again. “It’s made me realized Ishould also atone for hurting you. I know you want to move to Cali next year soyou’ll never have to see me again, and that’s my fault. But will youreconsider? Maybe you could go to college closer, that way we could work onus.”

I blink in my astonishment. “Seriously? You werethe one who said I could do whatever I want after I turned eighteen.”

She releases a long exhale. “I know, and I’m sorryabout that. I was just mad you didn’t seem to care that I’d met someone great.Daniel’s a wonderful father and a good, hardworking man. He genuinely caresabout me, andyou.”

I lean my head and observe her. “But you dated himfor five months without introducing us, then all of a sudden you’re engaged.”

“I told you, Toya, it’s because I wanted to makesure it was right. I didn’t want to put you in another situation where you’dget hurt again.”

“You really mean that?” I ask childlike.

She grazes my cheek with the back of her hand.“Sadly, I’ve made you believe I don’t care. But I do, Toya. Let me prove it toyou.”

Lowering my eyes to her hand holding mine, I ask,“You’re sure about Daniel? You really love him?”

A smile curls her lips as I peer up at her. “Whenyou’ve gone through life and have experienced so much the way I have, you justknow when something is finally right. This feels right, Toya.”

“Huh.” Honestly, I understand what she meansbecause I feel the same way about Varen.

Thinking about him makes me fuzzy. I drop my eyes fromher again. She’ll go back to being mad at me if she discovers our secret.

“Will you think about staying closer to home?” sheasks. “Give me the chance to make up for all the hurt I’ve caused you. I knowit seems like it’s out of the blue, but… experiencing all this change andfeeling so completely happy makes me want to work on all areas of my life,especially my relationship with you.”

“Um, I’ll consider it,” I mutter, managing apartial smile as I look at her.

“Thank you.” Her shoulders relax, and she cloaksme in her arms. I bask in her motherly warmth and hug her back. It feels sogood to have her embrace me in this heartfelt way. I’ve yearned for it for solong.

But at a sudden ache between my thighs, I’mswiftly reminded that not only am I falling hard for my stepbrother, but I’vealso just given him the last puzzle piece of my body, and I enjoyed every bitof it.

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