Page 49 of Steps

“I don’t want to be just friends,” he says, serious.

My heart flutters, and I drop my eyes to my lap.“We can’t be more.”

“What if I become a better guy, would you date methen?”

“Varen, it’s not only about changing your badhabits; we’re going to be stepsiblings.”

“Date me in secret,” he proposes. “We could do it.They wouldn’t know. I spent a night in your bed, and they have no clue.”

I roll my eyes and look up at him. “Because yougot up early and went to another girl’s bed.”

He touches my arm. “I didn’t have sex with her,couldn’t stop thinking about you. I know it’s still fucking shitty. But I’mgoing to work on myself. I won’t do that again, Toya.”

It’s so easy for him to get under my skin. myvoice comes out soft as I say, “Varen, what if they catch you sneaking out ofmy room the next time?”

“Next time?” His eyes glisten in the shadowy car.“So you are thinking about it?”

“Varen...” I moan and massage my forehead.

“You were kissing me back last night. You wantedme between your legs earlier.”

“Let’s just go. Mom and Daniel are back by now.”

He lifts his hand to my face and caresses mycheek. “All those things you talked about; we’ll do them together as dates.”

“They’ll find out.”

“They won’t.” He leans in and kisses me hard. Imoan, touching his face as he lowers his hand between my legs, feeling methrough my jeans.

Damn it. Why do I keep letting him do this to me?

“No,” I say weakly and move his hand.

Varen stares at me for a few seconds beforesettling back in his seat. “Sorry, I scare you.”

“No. It’s…” I collapse my head against the seat. “I’mscared of how I feel about you.”

He squeezes my hand. “We’ll go slow. Hell, I’venever even done that before, but I’ll try for you. You’re making me feel forthe first time in a long time, Toya. I want more of you, and I’m not justtalking about your body.”

Looking at him, I release a long and nervous sigh.“I’ll think about it.”

“That’s good enough for me.” He starts the car,peels out of the lot, and heads home.

11

Sunday morning, I draw the curtains and blinds inmy room to let in natural light. Then I shower and dress in a tee and denimshorts.

Daniel and my mom are having breakfast when I walkinto the kitchen.

“Morning,” I tell them both.

“Morning, Toya,” Daniel greets. “We’re going to afundraiser at the country club.”

“Cool.”

“Want to come with us?” he offers.

I look at Mom. She glares at me, an indicationthat I’d better refuse.

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