Page 46 of Steps

Pushing up my skirt to my hips, Varen tugs at mypanties. I shudder and bite down on my bottom lip, but don’t utter a word. Ifear my words might interrupt.

As he pulls my black panties down to my ankles andslips it off completely, I release an unsteady exhale.

“Have you ever had oral sex?” he asks, slowlyspreading my legs.

I shake my head. “No. I… haven’t done anything.”

“Do you want me to?” he offers, lowering his headbetween my thighs and kissing my skin.

“Um…” My body is screaming to let it happen. Myhead warns me not to take this any further. “I don’t know.”

Varen whispers throatily, “Yes, you do. You knowexactly what you want, but you’re scared to admit it.”

I moan and grip the sheets as he runs his tonguealong my inner thigh until reaching my vagina.

“Ugh…” I gasp from the indescribable pleasure whenhe moves his tongue in a circular position. Varen groans as he tastes me thenlowers a hand to touch himself.

Somehow, hesitation finds a way to break through.

“Stop.” I push him away and ease up quickly.

Varen’s breathing is hurried and full of lust. Hewipes his mouth with the back of his hand.

I press my back against the headboard and try tocompose myself. My vagina is still pulsating.

“You were just with someone else,” I remind him.“I told you I’m not like that.”

Remorse consumes his eyes. “And I’m not sure I cangive you what you want. I’m not like August. I’m screwed-up. I’ll disappointyou.”

“Varen, I don’t want you to be like August. Ijust…” My voice falls as I stare into his piercing blues. I force myself out ofit. “Doesn’t matter. This… thing, whatever it is, it’s wrong.”

Varen steers his gaze from me and glances at thecarpet. He’s about to leave, but I stop him.

“How about we work on what’s leading you toalcohol and drugs? I feel it’s all a distraction to keep you from facing what’sreally hurting you.” I pause, pick at the sheets. “Maybe I can help, in anotherway that doesn’t include sex.”

“Why do you care?” He stares at me again.

I grasp the sheet, fighting to push back the urgeto spread my legs and let him continue. “I care because I know what it’s liketo feel alone as if everything. But I had my gran. Maybe I can be that supportfor you.”

“That’s kind of you, Toya, but it won’t matter.”

“Just give me a chance,” I implore. That has adouble meaning.Did I intend it to?

Varen stands, dismissing it. “Look, I’m hittingthe shower. You want to go out for dinner after?”

My heart leaps. I feel like I’ve been waiting forthat since the night we met.

“Um, okay,” I reply in a near murmur.

“See you in a bit.” He opens the door and stepsout of my room.

Not even a minute after, I slither down on the bedto touch myself. I want to relieve the tight knot that I’ve had since the nightbefore.

I shut my eyes and begin massaging my clit, butit’s no use. I desire Varen’s touch. I can’t pleasure myself.

Ugh!

Getting off the bed, I pick up my underwear, thenshower and haul on a floral blouse, jeans, and flats. I twist my high poof andloop it around at the end.

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